I still haven't managed to reconcile the odd socks I have from the days when my ex would salvage my socks from the vague vicinity of the laundry basket (I always have thrown like a girl!), place one in it and use the other one to er. . . well. . . er. . . I'm sure you can use your imagination to figure it out. . .

That wasn't so bad but on one occasion I needed socks in a hurry and found this one lying next to the bed. . . . . . From then on I have developed a compulsion to check my socks for sperm before putting them on! Crazy since he's been gone 10 months now. . .

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'Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone you love'

- Woody Allen