I can explain it fully.....

and with total seriousness.

You see, I used to own a gift shop and we sold quite a few of these little guys. I would imagine they've multipied by now and therein lies your problem.

It's The Sock Bandit, a.k.a. The Hamper Sleuth.

Description: Short (11.5"), wooly and beige. Beady button eyes, wired arms and fingers (three). Wearing black sock mask and bright body stocking.

Distinguishing features: large nostrils. Always carries three odd socks.

Last Sighting: Central High School, Boys' locker room, one foot in the gym bag.

"Tube, ankle, tennis or knee, Striped, ribbed, or lacy - all free"

Master of the single steal, faster than the spin cycle, a mere blur in the locker room, the Sock Bandit prides himself on sleuth. Last spotted eyeing the laundry basket.

Photo is enclosed for future sock theft bandit identification purposes.
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OH DAGNABBIT! Can't upload the Sock Bandit's Mug Shot!
I'll do so at a later date....but trust me, the little guy is REAL!