I'm the cook by default in the Zoid household. Whether that's because of my skills or lazyness of the other half if still up in the air.

Last night Mrs Zoid complained bitterly of finding a hair in her round steak & gravy...when I suggested that she could remedy the prob by doing the cooking herself, she told herself to shut up...

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.