movies...
OK, I am now in a fix.
I just returned from a brief vacation, a "solo" roadtrip in my new car.
This was just "me by myself time", and I went to several places in here in Texas that I wanted to visit, play tourist, and visit people I know, meet some new ones, swim at Lake Travis. (yes the weather sucks, they closed the lake, and I am home now)
OK, to shorten this, I met a really special woman in Austin who has her own filmaking company. (videos, actually, but everyone called it movie making *shrug*)
During a little 4:30 Am pillowtalk, she asked me to appear very briefly in her current project.
Partially bare. Topless, and a with a long view of my bare backside.
There will be others in the scene, also at least partially naked, and yes there is touching, and some "suggested sex"
This is NOT a porn thing, but an "experimental" video, with real, paid actors, (including me) and crew. She appears real and reputable, and already has an intimate relationship with me, so she isn't doing some absurd "want to be in a movie?" seduction thing.
She says I can use a "stage name" and she admitted my face might not even show in the finished project.
I was feeling very... well, "special" (i.e. very sexy, satisfied, and warm, my favorite combination) at the moment, and I agreed.
Sweeties, I ALWAYS keep my word... but I am scared to death. I have done some *ahem* "home movies" that I kept for myself, no copies. But this is (maybe) going to be actually released, -probably a straight to video thing, but still...
I have been naked in front of people more times than I could possibly recount, at certain parties, at the beach and the lake, and have certainly had pictures of my boobs and bare behind taken during Carnival many times, hundreds probably, thousands possibly.
But almost all that was anonymous! (sometimes the parties are anonymous, sometimes not, but no pictures are allowed anyway) I was just another sunbather around others, or just another flasher on a blacony during Mardi Gras.
This is so different, and I am feeling scared, and frankly a little naseated.
And yes, kind of turned on and sexy, and proud that as I get further past 30 my body is still considered something worth filming.
My question is this, do I do it?
I have an almost sinful pride in always keeping my agreements, but I also know Kimmie will let me out of this if I realy want out.
It would be easier if I wasn't so conflicted about it. I have until July 27th to decide. (and try to tone up a little I think.)
HELP!!!
WW
P.S.
And before anyone asks, I will NOT share the name of the movie so you can all run out and rent it. That way I know whoever offers me advice here doen't have the ulterior motive of seeing me (partially) naked again.
W.
__________________
"I wondered, am I a lesbian, am I straight, or bisexual? Then I realized that I am just a slut.
So where's MY parade?"
---Margaret Cho
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