Well, a girl in college nicknamed my phallus Vlad the Impaler.

But seriously, I sooooo love the Castlevania line of video games, and play them obsessively, and by extension I love old world vampire/undead myths too and read/tell them obsessively.

I can just imagine the fun I would have with that place. I mean if I had that kind of money, it's safe to bet I'd have enough to not only never have to work the rest of my life, but also purchase a carte blanche from the local government. I wonder if I will get all the peasants too? To do with as I please.

Oh please, I really want a bunch of peasants to own. I totally promise I won't make an army of zombies or anything unless I get really, really bored.

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Well sir that seems to be someone else's problem.