If anyone who applies for the job with fussypucker finds she satisfies only two of the criteria (or even only one), and is therefore (understandably) bitterly disappointed to be turned out in the cold, shivering and distraught, alone, disconsolate (that's enough negative emotions, thanks), she could apply to this address, where she will be given a fair hearing (and possibly a warm bed)...

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Erotically yours... Gus