Have to say I didn't really read it all......too long and not funny...
as for who wrote it originally (male/female) that's something we'll most likely never know....

Google will give you about 3,910 results for "Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you".

Just an other email forward that people have started posting on every site they can.......people really don't put the effort into these things anymore, which is a shame, I've read some really funny ones over the years..

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FussyPucker

There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't...

Sarcasm: It's not big and it's not clever...........but it's funny as fuck!

The Special One!