If it were me in a similar situation...

I would send a congratulatory card with a universal gift card (American Express and Visa have them...and they can be purchased at places like drug stores or banks for a small fee) worth a very nominal amount such as $25...no more!

And...the ONLY reason I would include the gift was to spare the mom from possibly hearing "shit" from the daughter about me and my cheapness.

Don't fret this one nut! It might be one of those situations where you are damed if you do and damned if you don't. So just lean to the positive side and all should be fine.

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~