Well, the first thing that comes to my mind was greatly assisted by single malt scotch. Was with my brother in law enjoying a bottle of Glenlivet and for some reason we decided it would be really cool to get out some fireworks and play around.

He had a bottle rocket that he wanted to light but the only bottle we had was the scotch and well.......... can't use that one.

So........... I said, "hey, I'll just hold it and aim it, you light it." Sounded like a good plan to him so we gave it a go. The rocket shot into the air maybe four or five feet and then came right back down, hitting me on the foot. Of course, I wasn't wearing shoes, just sweatsocks and yep, the sparks started it on fire.

Meanwhile my BIL was looking in the air saying, "Where'd it go? Do you see it?" I'm laughing because I'm drunk as hell and my foot is on fire. So I said, "Here it is!"

BIL sees my foot on fire and starts laughing with me. Then says, "Hey put it out!"

So I poured the rest of my glass of scotch on it. Got a nice little flame from that one which we found even more hilarious than the fact that I was simply on fire.

The next morning I woke up on the couch with their greyhound licking my foot. Not sure if she was tasting me or trying to clean the wound. My BIL ended up staying at my place for about a week because my sister wouldn't talk to either of us.

Yep, probably should've just used an empty beer can to hold the bottle rocket.

__________________
It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus