im going crazy!! ive been w/ my b/f for like a month...and it may sound strange or whatever but im totally in love w/ him...i think he is the one for me......though he doesnt know b/c he is supposed to be moving to austin **i live in houston* in 6 months, so he doesnt want things to get too deep...so i keep it to myself b/c i dont want to make things any more difficult for him when he is going to leave.........ok, so thats a little back story....6 months is fine for me, hell i may even want to move to austin by then, but i dont know yet b/c somthing has come up between us that upsets me.....ok, he told me when we first got together that he still has some feelings for an ex that he fell in love with...im not exactly sure on the details of what ended it but i understand that.....she lives in another city ok.....yesterday **i had stayed from friday until noon today at his apartment with him..so much fun, i love being w/him!!** he told me that **BTW they have remained friends** she called him the other day and she wants to come back to houston to finish her degree, and she wants to move in with him.....since she's her friend he is considering it, but also he told me up front that if she did move in w/ him that somthing would end up happening.....so basically it comes down to if he tells her 'yes' he'll lose me, and if he says 'no' he'll lose her......Oh my Goddess you guys, im so scared that he is going to tell her yes!! i dont want to lose him...i dont know what to do, he knows my opinion, but its his decision and his alone.... i dont know what i would do if i lost him, i have this feeling that i will b/c he loved her and i dont think he'll let himself love me right now, so she has the upper hand in his heart, all i can do is hope and worry, and of course cry......

sorry for my whining..i just need to express a bit here, not many of my friends ive talked to at work seem to understand much....but for those of you who acctually read my rantings, i hope you dont think im too crazy )

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I'm sorry...the voices in your head have informed me that they don't like you!

~*~Wisper~*~

~Hugz, Love, & Chicken Grease!~