My mother is very controlling, and as I was the younger of her duaghters she never seemed to want to let me grow up.

I'm afraid I deal with this in a way that may seem disloyal, but have found it to be what works for me. If I am at a crossroads and have a major life changing event to make a decision on, I make it and then tell my mother. For example, I didn't go to her and tell her 'I'm thinking of changing jobs' or 'Fussy and I may get engaged' or even 'Would you mind if I got married abroad without you there?' I just made the decision and then told her what was happening.

Parents often don't realise that when going to them with a dilemna that you are often asking for an opinion, and not asking for their permission to do something. I knew if I told my mother we were going to start trying for a baby, she'd be concerned about our finances and tell us we should wait a little while, 'just in case'. So instead, we simply waited until I was pregnant and then gave her the news - she is delighted and if it all goes horribly wrong, she bears none of the responsibility for it, since she wasn't allowed any input before the deed was done.

Maybe it wouldn't work in your case, but it works for me. It gets easier the more you strike out on your own.

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