"Barter this" makes me think of a line out of a star trek movie, I think it was titled "star trek: first contact". Anyway there is a scene in the movie where Worf is on the plasma dish outside the enterprise. He is with a few of the other crew and they are fighting the borg. A borg is standing over him and he says "Assimilate this" and shoots the borg into space. Bloody funny at the time.

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My stories
An erotic story
The instructor and student
Secretary learns how to take a dicktation
The story of sister stephanie