Ok Packrat, I have been in here over the last few days and have seen this thread of yours gain some momentum. Now Lou has asked some great questions, in fact if she didn't ask them I probably would have.

Here's what concerns me the most. The fact that she has already cheated on you once, is putting up little red flags right there. She says that you have become the jealous type and maybe to a point the controlling type, simply because of the fact that she put you in this situation by cheating on you. So you have your trust in her broken, you feel insecure about her and which in turn has turned to jealousy. You go out and buy her things, (whether it's a coat or a car is irrelevant) and what do you get in return??? She shuts you down and tells you that you are stubborn and pigheaded. Also she tells you that "you should've seen the signs". That should be a hint right there for you. Then she tells you that you take her for granted.
What???!!!!
From what I have read from your post, it seems to me that she is in fact taking you for granted. As I said just before, " you go out and buy her things" and what exactly has she done in return?????
It seems to me that she is using a reversing move on you. By this I mean, she knows that she is in the wrong and so she puts everything that she has done wrong onto you and makes you feel like crap because of it. Why should you feel that way because she cheated on you????
The writing is on the wall on this one.

Also if this sort of cloud is over your heads and you followed through with the engagement and got married to her, what then? Marriage is a sacred trust between 2 people. She has already broken that. What's to stop her doing it again when you are married? I'm not trying to feed your axieties here, I'm just putting a little perspective on things for you.

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