Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted.


A termite walks into a bar room and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"


"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud."
"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."


What's brown and sticky? A stick.


Why are proctologists so gloomy?
They always have the end in sight.


What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Roamin' Catholic.


What did the apple say to the orange?
Nothing stupid, apples don't talk.





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Famous last words of a mafia hitman: "Who put the violin in the violin case?"