Dear Friend,

I am writing to you to inform you of an exciting business opportunity. My name is Barrister Jon A Mbeki Esq., and I represent Mrs. Mariam Sanni Abacha. She has recently come into a large inheritance of spam e-mails; they number approximately 34 million.

Unfortunately, due to the recent political strife here in Ethnia, she is unable to collect her e-mails directly. In order to protect her rightful inheritance from rebels, she is required to deposit her e-mails in a foreign account, and this is where you can help.

I am authorized to share a large part of the spam e-mails with you if you will allow us to deposit them in your account. In order to do this, we need your account information immediately. Please don't pass up this opportunity to collect over 1 million spam e-mails of your own!

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.