I just reread some of your posts, Lou . . . I don't mean to sound harsh but it seems you went to check on your mum when a neighbour called & it may have been for appearance's sake yet you were worried.

Could you call a family meeting & have other family members back you up? Try telling her that it's upsetting to the family to see her self-destruct. You've done what you can for her & now she's going to have to deal on her own.

Yeah, I'm a cold bitch sometimes but it ends up being about your own self-preservation after a while. She sounds pretty selfish (again, apologies if I'm off the mark or sound harsh) & may not even care that she's causing you stress.

When my mother gets dramatic, I lose respect for her & pull back (especially when her problems are self-inflicted & could easily be resolved).

You can lead a horse to water . . .