I have a friend who always had the funniest expressions -- they've found their way into my own vocabulary over the years - here's just a selection of them.

"looked at him/her like he/she just crawled out of cheese" - looked at a person with kind of disgusted look.

"I feel (or -you look) like a mad woman through the shed" - well just get the picture a woman running screaming through the shed - hair pulled in all directions and straw catching it .... it's not a really good day!

"slicker then snot on a glass door knob" .. it's easy (kind of like the old one - easy as pie)

"just like a fart in a skillet" - this means - the person jumps around a lot (physically, mentally, etc.)

"dumber than a post" - well I guess you can all guess this one.

That's all I can think of at the moment. jjjjbo