I have to concurr with Big Bear. There is no pain that can match the impending news. Absence does make the heart wander in some instances unfortunately. These folks too are casualties of war unfortunately. My advice would be for her to maintain status quo for the time being. Making a decision of this sort that will have an impact on so many lives is not one to be made based on emotions alone. The decision she makes now will be one that many will have to live with all the rest of their lives. I know some from the local National Guard unit that have recently returned from Iraq and one has returned to this situation. Another returned and it was just the reverse. There is no easy answer. Our own personal happiness is the most important thing in our lives and she will have to weigh all the consequences against what is going to make her happy. Good luck to her and to you for helping her deal with this.