Pixies Place Forums - View Single Post - seriously confued girlfriend

I really cant believe that this is even a question. Not to belittle anyone in particular, but perhaps the last few generations. What happened to commitment in America? It seems as if it just dried up and blew away. People may say they are committed, but what they really mean is, "I'm committed as long as we're having a good time" thats not commitment, thats a pre-nuptial at best, and more realistically means "dating."
Why do so many get married these days? Because it's romantic, and "feels good" but if it doesn't "work out" they just bag it and move on to the next one?!?!?! INSANITY! What about the innocent ppl that are destroyed in the wake, personally, I find it disgusting that she is even entertaining these thoughts in her head if for no other reason than she has a CHILD with her husband. Unless he's beating her, or the child, or if he has been unfaithful, which is what makes her feel "lonely and alone" then what she needs to do, is cut off contact with this male friend. If she were addicted to cocaine, she'd have to cut that off, I'm guessing that she's simply addicted to the attention. I'm not saying it's not hard to be here, 3000 miles from her husband, no physical contact between them, no little kisses at the bathroom door, no watching TV with her head in his lap, just a phone call every once in awhile that probably drains and energizes her AND him. But there is a difference between "Alone and Lonely" and "ALONE and LONELY"
Would she feel "alone and lonely" if her husband was in the same room with her?

Because that is entirely possible, I've been there and it's a horrible place to be, and if that is the case, then what she needs is a love affair....with her son. She needs to get out of the broken relationship before her son only sees the negative hurtful things that ppl do to each other, that also, in the same instant hurt the child deeply. But she desperately needs to NOT get into another relationship. I oppose on any grounds dating with minor children. You may say that it's "enriching" his life, having a "daddy" around, and to that I say bullshit, because to get to THAT point, you've already robbed your child of time that is THEIRS. I'm not saying that you shouldn't date, but dont try to build a new relationship with the crumbled bricks of two collapsed marriages (hers and the new boy toy, and if he just has kids, but wasn't married, thats worse, does she think that she'll "settle him"?) Build a safe haven for him by being rocksteady, like a little kid.
Little kids either love you, or they dont, there is no "gray area" to a child, there is...and there isn't....theres no maybe. I've heard too many kids ask "But if you love mommy/daddy why aren't they here?" And if it's just because he's a million miles away, and cant tell her sweet adorable things and compliment her all the time, then you as a friend, need to tell your gf to GROW UP. I'm assuming that he's deployed to Iraq as well, perhaps she needs to watch something like "Saving Private Ryan" not the whole thing, just the first 20 minutes, over and over again, until she realizes that she can change the channel, her husband cant. If she had to see the things that war entails, would she be thinking so much about how sexy her husband OR her "friend" is? Would the thought of, what she looks like in her outfit matter? I dont think so. She would be trying to stay alive.

I think that her husband deserves her respect and honor and COMMITMENT, until he comes home, and that until that time and hopefully everafter she needs to end this pseudo-romance with her friend. Falling in love is easy, it's fun. But breaking commitments and vows cheapens it, makes it disposable. Love isn't disposable, if it were, we'd have an abundance of it in the world today and as I see it, we have a major deficit. Love is not a feeling, it's an action. Lust is a feeling, and requires nothing more to exist.

It basically comes down to this old saying "The Right choice is never easy, and the Easy choice is seldom right"

Sorry for my rambling, I'm not even sure this makes sense, just got off a 12 hour overnight shift, so I'm a little rattled, but I hope you can take something from this.