Tanks for the advice everyone.....I agree, it's important not to take responsibility for her problems, and I don't think I do...I never interfere and try to solve the problems for her, but she herself, becomes my problem, if that makes sense. Also, I've finally got through to her that she needs counselling and she's started seeing one...the first bit of my advice she's ever taken!

To return to the example of the day I should have been making Fussy's Birthday cake....that day I get a phonecall from her next door neighbour, saying she'd been in contact with her ex (a man who is no good for her whatsoever) and he'd let her down again....she rarely drinks, but had decided to drown her sorrows with a few glasses of brandy, first thing in the morning and she ended up in bed, throwing up and losing control of her bladder a little each time she puked. Her neighbour thought it wouldn't be a good idea to leave her on her own, but she was about to go away for the weekend.

In this situation, how, realistically, could I have said to the neighbour, 'I told her not to make contact with him, it's her bed she'll have to lie in it'? Her physical being was in danger, as I saw it, as I didn't know how much she had drunk and what state she was in until I got there. When I arrived she told me she'd not taken any pills because she didn't think she'd got enough left to finish herself off.....I stayed a few hours, but once I'd seen that she'd had a bath and got out of bed, I told her I had to go. We'd reached the point of arguing because I wasn't letting her wallow in self pity.

Oh and Nazgul1954, just for the record, I never said it was my sister....I imagine it would be easier to deal with if it were....it's a little bit different when the person is your Mother though....

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