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Babe I wish I could have better advice for you. Honey you need to seperate yourself from him, his attitude about himself is horrible we have known that since we met him. Why does that affect your relationship suddenly now? Why would you even consider marrying him now? He has hurt you honey... cut your losses and seperate now.
It will take time babe, trust me I know that, I fell hard once, and been trying to prevent it and avoid it like the plague since. I find things about every guy I'm with to make them some how not perfect, but now... I don't know that I can find anything wrong with, well you know who... AV, I'm scared... I don't want to get hurt again, and that is all I can focus on. He can tell how I feel from how often I contact him, how I listen to him, how I obey him, and worst of all how I respond to him. I just refuse to admit it, I don't want to get hurt, and it's inevitable. Everytime he says something about me falling for him my blood turns cold and I cringe. I wish I could get past that, I just can't yet. Anyway... back to the situation at hand, don't mean to take focus away from you...
Ok so as you know James and I are really good friends, distance and time did that, I will keep him in my life and he will do the same for me. We won't ever be the same but we will have a great friendship. I am sorry but I really think you should do this with your loved one. I know you love him, I know you do, probably way more than I ever did James. You need to step back if you can and really analyse how you feel about him. I know you love him but what would you change if you could? Try to remember some of the arguments you two had, how he made you feel at times, how mean he could be, how rough he was, everything that hurt you. Try not to focus on the good things for awhile, I know it is hard, TRUST me I do. Focus on how he has hurt you at times.
Babe, the worst thing you can do is continue to talk to him and beg him to come back. When you both decide it is over... you BOTH need to leave it that way. If he is doing the same to you, you just need to take time and think about it all. Babe all I can say is before he came into your life I never saw you cry but once I think. Suddenly he was there and I would come home and find you crying, or at night you would leave so you wouldn't do it in front of me. I love you honey, we can find better, I know it doesn't look that way at the moment, but trust me I am sure you can. You can find someone that makes you happy all the time... not just some of the time. He ended this, let him come crawling to you.
IF you want to not listen to any of the above, I am ok with that. But I do think you both need to back up and take some time away for a little while, not talk every night, and maybe go back to just dating and no touching. Work on your relationship, you can't change how he feels about himself only he can. He needs to change... Not you.
I know it doesn't help but Honey, I love you.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((AV))))))))))))))))))))))) )))))))
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