Man who had sex with bike in court
 

by Richard Alleyne

A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.

On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police.

Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders’ register but his sentence was deferred until next month.

He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

Wait a minute here!

This guy was in a locked room! What ever happened to privacy? What is going on in this world when a person can't fuck a bicycle in the privacy of his own locked room without having to worry about someone barging in and arresting him?

What's next? Spycams in the pastures? :yikes:

There was nothing said about the age of the bike...I guess that may have been a factor... :shrug:

As disturbed as I am over how one has sex with a bike, I'm really really really curious about the guy who had "sex with pavements" :huh: :confused:

He could have used the, "I was only pumping the tires" defense.

:roflmao:


But a bicycle? He was trying to have sex with a bicycle? :confused:

I have to agree
What happened to freedom of religion?
Who decides how you must worship?

:gb: Never mind I said nothing :gb:

.

Missing from the Apocrypha
 

Not so much "Thou shalt not commit buggery" as...

... and the Lord said, behold, I have created this bicycle, which is a wondrous and a magical instrument, the which has wheels both in the front and at the rear, the which is meet for transporting my faithful people across this land. And men shall mount this instrument and ride it, for the transportation thereof. Yet never, I say, shall man ride the bicycle in a profane, lascivious or lewd manner, spewing his seed therein, and indeed, this coggery is forbidden.

IowaMan,

I am with you on this! I too find it very difficult to get it to make sense. :wobbly:

He was in a locked room? And they let themselves in....Ohhh man i'd sue their asses for invading my privacy!

But a bike?????...damn if it was me i'd have watched to see how he did it *LMAO*

What I don't get is what law did they arrest him under? Who had the forethought to write a law against bicycle sex? Does this make him a velocipedophile?

No...just a peddlephile. :p

Coggery!? :yikes: