Dominating Her
 

Hi my G/F and myself have recently started experimenting with domination and I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on the best was to doninate her? Personnaly I love being dominated and am very into the plaesure pain thing but I've never really played the doninating role to any great extent.

In response to Lilith's post about filling a bdsm survey, I looked them up and found this.

The survey results are a bit difficult to read, but the survey itself offers some great ideas.

I seem to remember it was posted awhile ago and it was great then to!

Almost impossible to read the results page. :( For example ... at the end it lists a number next to BDSM desire score ... but the range isn't specified or explained. So, what does a 5, 15 or 45 or whatever mean?

You're right about the ideas, though. :)

That is the longest check list I have ever seen! :eek:

The best thing to do is talk about it in great detail. Find out what her fantasies are concerning being dominated. Does she want bondage, pain, fear, humiliation. Does she want you to swat her and make it sting a little or does she want big, red welts that take days to heal.

Keep safety the main focus and have a safeword. If she says the safeword, for whatever reason you stop! If you destroy trust you will never be able to really dominate her.

Go slow. Build up on your experience. What might seem like a hard limit today might soften in time. Learn to be flexible and spontaneous. There is a ton of good information on the web and in books. There is also a lot of bad. Be choosy, but be willing to learn. Mostly have fun! :)

What she said...In my experience, this is the best way to go.

sub lists
 

I couldn't open the link, but I happen to have the "standard" list for subs.
It's a list put together by someone that let's you indicate your interests, and more importantly, your limits. It's used in our household for the occasional temporary arrangement with another Domme or Dom.

Oddly enough, some of the questions are repeated in slightly different ways. I don't know why, and have never asked.

The 100.
Here's our basic list of 100.
Remember, as we have previously discussed, this is not complete, and reflects OUR limits in assigning Pet to another. (I.e it has been edited)
These questions pertain to Pet, her interest and limits, and what she is to do under YOUR control, in terms of what you wish to do to her or have done to you. Any other activities not listed here must be fully negotiated in advance with both of us. All Standard "safer sex" rules apply.

Limits

Mark in terms of interest, assign value of 0-10 in terms of how interested -"0" means "no never", 10 means "Yes oh Yes, Do it now"


1. 24/7 total power exchange- Full D/s interaction, with no "time out" for a previously specified period of time. (This can be lifelong, day to day, or for only specific days).
2. Anal sex (she receives only under negotiated circumstances, though she will "give" -participate via toy.)
3. "ass play" (sexual play other than anal sex)
4. "Club Play" or "Dance play" having sexual contact in a dark club without others noticing.
5. Biting
6. Blindfolds
7. Blood- Also "Vampirism" sexual play associated with blood, possibly tasting blood. (details negotiated in advance)
8. Bondage- tied, - ropes, plasti- cuffs, handcuffs, other restraints
9. Breast/nipple play. (includes breast wraps, nipple clamps, etc)
10. Candle wax
11. Chains (includes being chained and wearing chains as fetish wear)
12. "Ben Wa" balls, beads, anal beads
13. Cling film bondage (being wrapped and or wearing film as fetish wear)
14. Collar- wearing one as a sign of submission, chokers are worn as an alternative in public.
15. Collar and leashed, being led (at parties etc)
16. Caging, confinement
17. Cross dressing- i.e Either one of you dressing as a male, (not trying to pass as one)
18. "Cupping" -suction of the skin, especially the breast/nipple vaginal area.
19. Defilement (sexual acts where you become dirty and sweaty, such as sex in the sand, dirt, or in the heat)
20. Shaving (you know where)
21. Denim- fetish wear
22. Leather (in any form, including fetish wear)
23. Domination- (being dominated) control
24 Role play- dress up or situational experiments.
25. Discipline- punishment, includes spanking, humiliation, tasking
26. Electro-torture (TENS and WANDS)- receiving pleasure from small carefully placed electric shocks.
27. Exhibitionism (exposure, such as flashing, sex in front of others, in public, and of course waring revealing clothing)
28. Public or semipublic sex- see above
29. Feathers (tickle, wearing)
30. Fisting -Vaginal only (this was changed by Leigh to accomodate me)
31 Food play
32. Gang bangs, (includes participation or watching. Participation takes both forms, giving and receiving)
33. Hair pulling (during sex, usually)
34. Knife or needle play
35. Lace and lingerie as fetish wear
36. Latex (wearing as fetish wear)
37. Vinyl (wearing as fetish wear)
38. Masks, (wearing them yourself or encounters with those wearing them)
39. Masturbation, while being watched, or watching
40. Mutual masturbation- doing each other.
41. Receiving oral sex
42. Giving oral sex
43. Oral fixation- using mouth other than oral genital- includes licking
44. Nipples (being played with, stimulated-not the same as breast nipple play
45. PAIN- receiving pain as part of play, includes spanking, pinching, whipping
46. Stockings- wearing as fetish wear
47. Participating in either erotic videos or photography- either as subject or as photographer
48. Piercings
49. The Rack and other medieval style restraint devices.
50. Boots/shoes as fetish wear
51. Foot play
52. Rubber as fetish wear
53. Spanking
54. Tickling as sex play
55. Watching others being dominated, played with, punished
56. "Talking dirty"
57. Toys - other than vibrators, dildos or electrica shock devices
58. Whips, flogging (more than a spanking or paddling)
59. Vibrators- hand held or wand type
60. Vibrators- wearable, insert-able- i.e butterfly type, bullets, eggs
61. Voyeurism- watching others in ANY kind of sexual activity
62. Erotica, reading looking at still pictures or watching erotic movies videos
63. Skinny dipping- swimming and/or having sex in the water.
64. Dildos, insertable -anal or vaginal
66. Cleaning: Using her mouth to clean another's body, including body secretions such as semen from another's body.
67. Bukkake- ejaculate onto the face "facial"- CAN be from more than one person at a time.
68. Bukkake - breasts
69. Bukkake -ass
70. "Marking" Semen worn on the skin in public, private, or semi- private, circumstances. (BDSM or Swing Party)
71 Sex Swing- sex while suspended from a sex swing
72 Swinging- "soft swing", sex only with each other, but when others are present and watching or also having sex.
73. Swinging "hard swinging" i.e. trading partners with the other nearby or present
74. Swallowing
75. Deep throating
76. Three sums- MMF
77. Three sums MFM
78. Three sums FFF
79. "Groups" i.e an orgy, sex in setting with more than 3 people present/participating.
80. "Handjobs" AK "jacking" -stroking a male until he ejaculates, or "Jilling" stroking or otherwise fingering a woman until she orgasms
81. "CUM BATH" See bukkake, only more coverage- always from more than one male
82. Sensual Massage- especially with oils
83. "Breast fucking" AKA "titty fucking"
84. "Audio" listening to others while they have sex in some fashion Also includes making audio recording of your own sex experiences
85. "Shock wear"- wearing clothing or other items as not usually worn as clothing in a sexual revealing manner not usually seen.
86. "Quickies" -having quick, hurried sex, usually without undressing, just for the fun of it.
87. "Flash and dash" Having a quickie in a semipublic place, such as a hotel pool, balcony, (not for YOUR room) or elevator, then running.
88. Body Painting -wearing body pains either as a form of sex play or part of a costume
89. Thai massage or bath- using your own nude body to massage another person while you are covered with either oils or if with soap to clean them,
90. Bathing- bathing another in a bath or shower, carefully washing and rinsing every square inch.
91. Stripping- in private only for your partner or other special guests.
92. Stripping - in public (in the appropriate venue such as a strip club)
93. Double penetration (DP) "spit roasting" pet with a male partner in her mouth the other (or a female with a strap on) has her either anally or vaginally
94. DP- pet takes one male (or woman wearing a strap on) anally, the other vaginally.
95. Triple play- as above, but a third person is taken orally.
96. Toe or foot play.
97. Double Blow- pet gives oral to two males simultaneously, switching between them or by trying to take both in her mouth at once. Also "multiples" 3 or more males.
98. Costume play- sex while wearing costumes, (see role play)
99. Suspension- japanese rope bandage with the woman suspended in the air.
100. Sensory depravation

There are numbers missing, I know. I have no idea what these were, they were removed by Leigh and Matt. Not renumbering makes some kind of Domme to Domme statement that I doen't understand.

I cut this down for brevity in posting, there is a spot where you can mark 1-10, and some questions have blanks after them

I have added descriptive :undies: details as I saw fit.
WW

Domination just isn't me, and that role playing would drown in its comedic aspects.

Killing
 

*sigh*
I quit!

I keep killing threads.

WW

Its happens to me too WW. I dont think it is us thought, just happends.

*considers punishing you, sternly

*isn't sure whom Lilith is talking to but kneels

WW, looking for an excuse to see her bottom blush;)

WW, good list. And neither you or VLM killed the thread. Thank you both for your post and keep on posting please. :)

dorain,
As someone said there are a ton of sites out there on both D/s and BDSM... Do a search and read a few. But please also read the sites on safety.
Have fun, stay safe, respect limits and remember this should be something you both want and enjoy.
Keep us posted on how it goes please.
:)

bottom blushing
 

(blushing furiously)
Lilith, you know I have had more than a few dreams about you making my bottom very, very red...

:kissass:

*ahem*

WW

:corn: