Feedback On " A Beautiful Spring Day"
 

Hi guys, and gals!

My darling husband wanted me to post my 1st story. Please tell me what you think.

T.I.A
Barb

Beautiful Spring Day

Great first story entry SK ... enjoyed it! Hope you will be adding more to our library!

Thank you so much. You just dont know how nervous I was / still am.

That was a fantastic first story SK....

What a fantasy.......... am wondering if it was yours? Hmmmmmmm........

Thanks Coaster. Yes, I think it may have been. :x:

Barb

Very good first story
 

SK-
Usually I don't care for stories that are written in present tense, but this story is making me wonder if I should give them more of a chance.

Very good first story. Please keep adding to the library!

-NastyGuy

Let me clarify a bit
 

I thought I might clarify my last post a bit.

Until I read this story, I had never reada story written in present tense that did anything for me. I really liked this story because it was well written. I knew what the main character was feeling, and that is important to me. I don't really enjoy reading stories that simply describe sex acts without emotional connections.

One other thing I really liked about the main character was that she didn't conform to that cliche body form we see too often (36-D Cubed, 24, 36, redhead), and most importantly, this wasn't overemphsized. You simply stated that she had B-cup breasts, and left it at that. Quite a few of us (I'm including myself) make the mistake at some point of overdescribing a character's appearance. I remember one voyeuristic story I read where the author spent pages and pages of space repeating that the female character had a really big and hairy bush. No joke. That was it, over and over. I got to the point after a couple of paragraphs of just skimming over a page, looking for the words "big, hairy, bush" and paging down until I didn't see them anymore.

One of my favorite authors said once: "It is the job of the author to describe the thumb, and convince the reader that they have described the whole hand." You did this well.

The last thing I will mention is that you did all of this in a surprisingly short story. I am impressed, especially since I have the tendency to ramble on in my own stories (and posts, aparently). Please keep up the good work, because I'm looking forward to your next story!

-NastyGuy