Clutz
 

ok i am a clutz i admit it, i fell down 3 steps yesty broke a toe and sprained an ankle!!! i was thinking during my 6 freakin hours in the hospital , what clutzy have yall done thats made u feel totally stupid!!! ehhehehehehe come on tellllllllllllllllllllllllll me! i need to know im not the only one! LMAO


~nikki

As a kid I was notoriously clumsy in my family, although the consequences of my 'accidents' never actually caused me to suffer - it was always my mother who bore the brunt of my mishaps.

For example, when I was playing near a beautiful fountain on hols one year, my mother warned me I'd slip in the mud, which I eventually did, spraying muddy water all over her, while I remained completely spotless.

And then there was the time I spilled coke all over the picnic bench, and my mother, who was at the far end of the table at the time thought she'd escaped for once, until she felt cold wet sticky coke trickling onto her legs, as it had run through the slats in the table, then down along the little grooves in the underside of the table and ended up in her lap.

You can guarrantee that no matter what clumsy thing I did, my Mum would be the one to suffer from it - perhaps that's why I never learnt my lesson!

Awwwwwwww...so sorry to hear of your mishap nikki! I hope you heal quickly and feel better soon!

I managed to slam my finger in the car door... because I was looking at an attractive woman in the car in the next spot. It's really hard to look cool and composed after doing something like that!

LOL milktoast to funny!!! ***kisses finger***
TY lixy its all good im just a dumbass!! hhehehehe
loulabelle , glad its not just me then hehehehe

~nikki

i keep managin to get a hard on knowing my wife is hardly ever interested any more

Growth spurt = clutz when I was a kid. I was always turning my ankle or stubbing my toe (I liked to go barefoot and still do). My mom would always tell me that I never looked where I was going with my feet - so I started to watch where I was walking. Admittedly by doing that I did manage to stop stepping on the land mines that the dogs left in the yard.

One day, I was walking down the sidewalk, watching my feet like a good girl and ran smack dab into a piece of plywood sticking out of the back of a pickup nearly knocking myself out. Needless to say, I learned that I needed to scan the whole area and map my route before starting...lol you know, be more aware of my surroundings.

Fallen off fences and out of trees, broken arm each time.

Slid my brother's bike in the wet and hurt it and me.

Caught a wrong bus and missed over an hour of Lilith's company.

Yup, I've had my klutz days.

poor nikki (((hugs))). hope you're back on your feet soon. as for me, i've done more clutzy things than i can list. so i'll just tell you about the dumbest. ya know that container of bright red sauce you get with take-out chinese sweet and sour chicken? well, i was trying to open it and it slipped and spun around dizzily spraying the sticky stuff EVERYWHERE! and i mean everywhere, the ceiling, the floor, the table, under the table, the counters, the cupboards, ME! what's so stupid about that?, you may ask. I DID IT TWICE!!! (btw, that stuff does NOT come off. if you want to get rid of the stain you have to repaint.)

I'm sorry nikki ((hug)).

Hopefully, this will help out some. When I was about 4 yrs old I watched Evil Knievel jump over the Snake River. I was so enthralled by this, the danger, the excitement, the rush...that I got my tricycle and decided to jump off our front porch. There was a girl from next door that was watching (I already thought girls were really hot and needed to be impressed). I took a deep breath, and with nothing but pure determination started peddling the three or so feet to the end of the porch.

The drop off was at least 2 feet, and I somehow knew it would be impressive. I saw the end coming closer and closer and without fear...I pressed on, and went over the end of the porch. The problem with tricycles is that bar that goes right between the legs. While my tricycle crashed to the ground and stopped, I (spread eagle) kept going and landed on that bar with a force unknown to me still. I grabbed my crotch and started jumping up and down. I had, for the first time ever, been introduced to the pain testicles can produce. owieeee. Honest to God, they were bruised to the point of turning a very deep shade of purple.

This, however, would not be the last time I would find myself in pain resulting from impressing the girls.

Less than a month later, I decided instead of jumping off the porch with my trike, I would do it while wearing roller skates. When I finally gained the courage to jump, the skates rolled unexpectedly from the push off and I came crashing down on the porch knees first. owiieeee.

A few years later, in Jr. High, I was dared by two girls to jump over a bark-dust pile with my 10 speed, and wanting so bad to impress the pretty girls, and with a very similar unfortunate result, I did. Argh.


Happy to report, after all this, I still had kids.

The first time I went skiing, I went down a black diamond...because I'm a man...and bounced off an old couple, flew over a jump, landing on one ski (with the other pointing sideways and almost over my head) and plowed right into the ski patrol dude.

That was not a "happy to see you" look on his face.


Then there's the time the handlebars came off my bike while going down a huge hill! :yikes:


And later in life...I was trying to change a lightbulb, while standing on a rocking chair, and started to slip. Instinct took over and I reached out...and stuck my finger into the socket.

I broke an ankle once, dismounting from a balance beam routine during gymnastics practice.


((((nikki))))) ~feel better soon. :)

i luv yall!!!!! yall r great for letting me know i aint alone in klutzdom!!! keep em coming , im really enjoyin em !!

~nikki

While this particular gem wasn't authored by me (for which I am thankful), it's one that I enjoy reading when I've done something really stupid:


This is a bricklayer’s accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the worker’s Compensation Board.
This is a true story…..

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Section 3 of the accident report form. I put ‘poor planning’ as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some brick’s left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the brick’s down by hand I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at the ground I went up to the roof swung the barrel out and loaded the brick’s into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the bricks.

You will note in section 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley, Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me down to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain and unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and I let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

Kind Regards,

------------------------------

Hopefully that helped to brighten your day! Remember, laughter is usually the best medicine.


ex

You sure we aren't twins????????? :p I slipped in water on the kitchen floor barefooted in August, dislocated my arm and I'm still in physical therapy. I can't do my job at work and have lost my strength in my arm. It keeps tryin to pop back out. All because I left a drainplug open on my ice chest. :rolleyes:
Keep that toe up in the air hon so it don't throb so bad. I been there too. LOL, my daughter broke mine before.