Every Which Way But Loose
 

As some of you know, things have been a little hectic in the IAKG/kleclere household lately. In the last nine days:

1. On 9/15/04, I left the only job I've held since moving to Iowa nearly six years ago.

2. On 9/16/04, I started a new job as assistant to one of the attorneys I worked for previously, who took a big step and has opened her own practice, and all of the uncertainties that go with that.

3. On 9/17/04, I closed on the house we'd been trying to buy for two months, with roadblocks cropping up from all around.

4. On 9/22/04, I found out that my *very* soon-to-be ex had been in a auto/pedestrian accident...without insurance...and he hadn't gone to the county treasurer's office and transferred the car over to his name from mine, even though I'd signed the title and other documents and given them to him on August 7th. Yep, I could be sued, eventually.

5. Yesterday, kleclere and I replaced a car. His had died a few weeks ago, and, because he works so far away, I'd been having to get rides to and from work in the meantime.

6. My ex should sign the Decree today, and I should be (finally) divorced no later than Monday.


Have any of you ever felt that you'd been hit from all sides at once? How do you handle that? It's hard to keep a positive attitude and grip on what's important and what's not when you can't seem to stand on solid ground long enough. Any advice?

(((((((Iak)))))))))) I turn to friends for solace and comfort and keep the faith that "this too shall pass".

Yeah girlfriend it always seems when the shit hits the fan it splatters everywhere! :rolleyes:
BUT........ It's gettin better everyday. You're making big changes in your life and gettin rid of the CRAP! Just keep thinkin.....It's almost over. :D
Keep your chin up and Cowgirl up. :)

((((((((((((((((IAK)))))))))))))))))))

You're getting closer to putting all this behind you... usually the best things in life are the things we have to work our asses off to achieve. Hang in there! :)

(((((((Hugs)))))))))) uve had a busy month hun!!! keep ur chin up and pamper urself , nice long bath w candles and a glass of whatever ur fav is is my best help. wish i cud say a bit more :S but thats what i do when the shit has hit and its building , just a bit o me time even if it doesnt cure it it helps me think clearer

~nikki

I find when things start to go bad I just run out into a corn field and Just stand there for a while :hair:


:hug:

Without going into great detail I have been there on several occasions and I can only say find any good in life and celebrate it your health your loved ones anything that can make you realize how lucky you are I often say my grandmother is my strength
Widowed in 1929 at the start of the depression with 5 children and no education she was told to put the 4 up for adoption and the one with ceberal palsey in an institution she went back to school raised all five sent four thru college and took care of the one with cp till the day she died at 78 >Tommorow the sun will shine brighter

YEAH! YEAH! :jump:
................ do the corn field! do the corn field!;)

For once I can share some true thoughts about something that has proved to be a fact. All growth and evolution happens in spurts and jerks, and I’m an expert on jerks and your avatar has made me an expert on spurts. ;)

There truly does seem to be a balance of + & -, whatever the level, that makes the whole of every occurrence. Ask the Floridians that have just completed a few decades of relative subdued weather. It’s like driving your car for a long time and only putting gas and oil in it. You know you have to pay the price of major maintenance and there is going to an investment of repair or replacement coming up.

You are coming to the end a rough ride now and can look for some smooth road soon. If I was the praying type, it may sound something like this. “While you’ve got me down here, go ahead and give me a couple more shots. I want you to get off my ass for a while.” :rolleyes:

IAKG ... you know you have our (((((( HUGS ))))) and best wishes.

We've been through times when everything seemed to go wrong ... so we can sympathize and will be thinking of you.

(I am happy about your new house and kleclere's new car. :))

Go stir crazy. A positive side effect is that your neighbors will start even more wild rumors about you than they do now.

You are in my thoughts. Its funny how things happen at one time. I always think it must be to somehow show us that things aren't that bad. I ask the question "why" ALOT and I know things are out of my hands. Just like all that you're going thru. YOu just keep your chin up and things will work out just like they are supose to!

Hugs!

I have always found that in the worst of times, when things seem to be getting to me, I have always gone and watched my children sleeping......safe and sound. It always put things in perspective and made me realize that everything else is secondary. :)

I've been looking at this post for days, and trying to formulate a good response. Not sure that I have one, but I'm going to do my best. :D

First, I believe that such trials and difficulties come out of taking risks. If you hadn't taken risks, you might not have been in this particular situation. Loving someone is a risk. Divorce is certainly risky (and full of a LOT of trouble) as I am sure you've discovered. Buying a house is a risk -- a pretty large one on the financial scale.

Risks aren't bad. In fact, they can be VERY good things. Just realize that when you take them you have a high probability of something going south. When making a decision we all have to calculate how important the benefit is to us, vs. the risks that we might incur.

Do I sound like an engineer yet? ;)

Second, I believe that we tend to get better at risk taking over time. More able to calculate the odds, and also more capable of dealing with the consequences. I absolutely feel that my happiness is worth taking some risks for, and I know you feel the same way.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I use this phrase all the time as a joke, but I really believe it's true. The people who believe in themselves and their ability to handle risks keep taking them. The prize? Having the life you have always wanted, or getting as close to the dream as reality will permit. I hope you find that you're getting closer to the life you want for yourself and your kids.

Third, I believe that we show our character most when we are in times of trouble. When I am mad, do I kick the dog? Or do I take that energy and go to the gym? When I have no money, can I find time for someone who needs me? Or do I make a lame excuse?

IAKG, in this area particularly you are amazing. With everything going on in your life, you took time last week to PM me and ask me about mine. I've never seen you angry or vindictive....and while I know your ex drives you to distraction, it seems that you are uncommonly patient and kind to him.

So...I see in you someone who takes risks to get what she wants, copes very well with the fallout, and has very strong character. Rather than asking for advice, I think we should all be asking some of you. How do you do it? :D


As for the stress....I am an expert on that! Here's what works for me:

• You are not superwoman. Ask for help. Don't try and do it all by yourself
• Take some time for YOURSELF on a weekly basis -- read a book, take a walk, maybe take a class. Do something you enjoy. Be a little selfish to preserve your sanity.
• Give yourself permission to let something slip. You're going to make mistakes. There's a lot going on in your life right now.
• Talk to your friends. We're here as a stress-relief valve.
• It's OK to cry... Life sucks sometimes.
• Assign some tasks to kleclere to lessen the load
• Keep in mind...you're doing this to get the life that you want. Visualize the good things that will come out of this time of change. Remember -- it's worth it. YOU are worth it!

Oh yes she is... ;)

But even Superheroes need help sometimes... why do you think there's a Justice League!