I need your advice
 

Hi. I really need some feedback on a situation that is potentially unhealthy, before I take it any further.

My girlfriend has a guy friend that she talks about openly. He's made no secret of how he feels about her, and up until now she has told me he's just an intellectual and fun person to talk with. I'm fine with that although I had my suspicions that she likes him in more ways than that.

The thing that is eating me up is that she is now showing him naked photos of herself. That's not what's bugging me, because she's shown lots of people those photos. The difference is she hasn't known those people.

She didn't exactly tell the story how I've seen it either which is also bugging me. I'm not stupid, and this isn't something I'm misconstruing either, but I really feel like she's stepping over a boundary here. I haven't said anything to her because I'm worried that I'm just being jealous and stupid.

I'd really appreciate your thoughts and any questions you may have.

~tim

I'd tell her how you feel ~ openly and honestly. Without accusations. See how she responds...which will tell you a lot.

If you feel she's stepping over a boundary then you need to make sure you have communicated where you feel the boundaries need to be. If you are acting like it all ok then what else is she to think. Talk to her, openly, honestly, without blame, or criticism, just talk.

Sorry but I think you're sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.
Ok let me rephrase this........ Are you not looking at pics here? I think so. So what's the difference? Does she know you come here? Do you hide it from her? At least she wasn't trying to hide it from YOU!
Maybe you aren't giving her the reassurance she needs.

She doesn't know that I know, or at least she hasn't figured out I know as much as I do.

I don't know if I'm being silly about the boundary though. It just seems to me that their friendship is now leaving the guidelines of a typical friendship now and entering something else.

That's good advice, thank you. We haven't really had any issues with talking to each other before. I don't know if I'm being over sensitive though, so if I can avoid making myself look like a total ass, I'd prefer it. I avoided telling her that tonight when we were talking because I felt petty and small. I don't know why this is eating me up so much. I mean, I don't think she'd go after him, but it just seems weird to me that she would be going down this path with someone she's only known a few months and talks with daily.

I guess on some level I feel threatened.

That's what I'm afraid of. It just feels wrong to me that she is progressing their friendship down this particular path. Even more so since we're due to be married next year.

I appreciate your feedback though, very much.

I edited my post above....... Go look. Ever cross you mind that maybe just maybe you make her feel comfortable enough to tell you things like that and you just wanna make a mountain out of a mole hill? Do you want her to feel ashamed of her body? Aren't you proud of what you got? Dammit listen to what she says and make her feel comfortable with it. I promise you will reap the rewards.

Darlin I just seen how old you are. You got a lot to learn about women.
1. Women do not like insecure men. It's a turnoff. So stop it already.
2. Consider yourself very lucky to have a woman that will open up to you like that and treat her with respect not suspicion.

Her pictures are here. It wasn't until I looked again that I saw his comments that alerted me that she invited him here. I think it's the invitation part that is annoying me. I'm very proud of her body and how she looks, and while you're probably right and I am making a mountain out of a mole hill, I guess I'm just not sure what sort of friendship she really has with him now.

I agree with CGT and osuche. Remind yourself of who she's going to marry - you, not him. If she was doing this to cheat I doubt she'd have gone about things in this way. Have a friendly - and I emphasise friendly - chat like osuche said, and I'm sure you'll find it's nothing. You're never going to definitively know if your partner is "crossing boundaries" as you put it unless you monitor her 24/7. You just have to trust her and communicate. Good luck :)

Thank you for that. Sometimes I just can't trust myself to think straight.

So did you post this here hoping she would see this or hoping she would not?

She won't see it. Thisisnotme really isn't me, but I felt justified enough in creating the account so that I could ask advice, now and in the future. I've seen so many wise words from the many people here before, not to listen when I have my own issue. I just didn't feel comfortable revealing this through my "normal" account, or risk that she would read this before we have spoken.

Will she not recognize the situation spoken of in your messages?