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-   -   Arsehole maggot boyfriends (http://www.pixies-place.com/forums/showthread.php?t=21999)

Belial 09-05-2004 07:37 AM

Arsehole maggot boyfriends
 
I'm genuinely concerned for a friend of mine who has been drawn back to a guy who is (by her own admission) no good for her. And I mean seriously no good for her. This guy is thoroughly deserving of this thread's title, yet she's giving him another chance in order to not be alone and because he "has things [she] needs" (and he's not cashed up or providing housing, or affectionate, so I think it's obvious what she's talking about :rolleyes: ) I know by previous conversations that some of our Pixie ladies here have found themselves in situations such as this and have pulled themselves out. My question is, what did it take? What should your friends have done to help?

Lilith 09-05-2004 08:35 AM

All friends can do is continue to support and love them, without enabling them. But constantly making them feel bad about their choice, or picking at the S/O, will only cause them to avoid you.

Steph 09-05-2004 11:56 AM

I had a friend in high school who had a boyfriend like that. She would complain about him a lot so one day I simply said, "When was the last time you said something good about him?" That made her stop & think & she did dump him. She was likely at the end of her rope and I just nudged her in the right direction.

Some people just don't want to be alone & stick with the devil they know, sadly.

Teddy Bear 09-05-2004 12:16 PM

Our friends become our friends because we like them. Even though we may not agree with everything they do. Continue to be her friend and just be there when she needs you. Sometimes all we need is the support of a good friend.


And of course plenty of huggles. :) :)

Vullkan 09-06-2004 11:24 PM

saddly there is little you can do--I have a lady friend who is still "stuck" on a real piece of *&!@--fortunately she stays away from him but still has feelings for him. All she has to do is give me the word and he will suffer; still the word has not been given. Yet people are odd in the way of the heart. Why do some of still carry a touch for someone in our pass.

Your friend just hasn't found someone she can have "those" feelings for someone else. Perhaps talking this fella aside and tell him just how important your friend is to you and telling him you'd hate to see her hurt will be enough. But till she is over with him---well sigh! what else can you do other then be a friend to her.

Oldfart 09-07-2004 08:01 AM

Some women are attracted to men who are not their type, serially.

You can offer help, but not intervention. She must come to you (her friends)

and leave the ex in the past.

Otherwise, she is a grown woman and it's her life.

BigBear57 09-07-2004 12:24 PM

I can honestly say there's nothing that makes a man feel worse useless than to stand by and watch a female friend take shit from some guy who has no appreciation for the woman who loves him. You offer to help, and they just tell you they'll handle it. Personally compounded by the lack of an SO, I can't fathom why anyone would treat and woman that way. let alone one he claims to love. Sometimes it just feels like the assholes hold all the cards. Surely it's not so but time moves so slowly disproving it. Hang in there Belial, maybe she'll soon see the light. I hope so.

smoothballs 09-07-2004 01:36 PM

if she only goes back for one thing :rolleyes:
take her out for the night and remind her most blokes have them :rolleyes:

Belial 09-10-2004 05:20 AM

It is the dimensions of this particular bloke's instance of what most blokes have that make him worth coming back to apparently.

Lilith 09-10-2004 06:15 AM

I don't care how big his dick is...she is in it for something else too. Even if it's only to feel like shit.

Casperr 09-10-2004 08:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Belial
It is the dimensions of this particular bloke's instance of what most blokes have that make him worth coming back to apparently.


Dude, dildos come in all sizes AND shapes. Betcha his can't do shapes, can it!

So if a dildo's better than the only thing he's got to offer her, maybe she should consider spending the $40 and getting it without the bullshit....

And THEN you can take her out and show her what a real boyfriend can do!!

CasperTG :fish:

smoothballs 09-10-2004 02:03 PM

thats *cough* she must like that kind of bloke for some wierd reason or another.
come on shes a woman stop trying to work them out they are ment to be a mystery :)

Incubus255 09-11-2004 12:21 AM

Well theres only one thing to do, if thats the only reason she's taking him back... then you must throw yerself on the grenade so to speek and offer to sleep with her yourself, purely for her own good you realize, it's truly the only noble thing to do

ok ok so I"m not that serious, just trying to lighten up the mood a little bit , but I do wish ya the best of luck

Steph 09-11-2004 12:50 AM

I'd just like to add that I've got some guy friends who are in the same boat. They're dating domineering women and I know they can do better. It's not just women making stupid choices.


Just my $0.02. True Story! Thumbs up! ;)

kathy1 09-11-2004 08:52 AM

Belial, toss the gentlemanly stuff to the wind and try throwing some unbridled passion her way.....sometimes, we women don't necessarily want to be treated as breakable art......show her that his isn't the only one with the magic!!! Good Luck even if you do nuffin but be patient.


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