am i a slut?
 

Just had a convo with someone.... and I dont know... maybe I'm just a slut :-/

bc of some of the stuff ive done.....
like sleeping with 7 guys since feb 14
doing a threesome
being horny alot
other stuff...

I kinda feel crappy right now....:(

[yes i do use condoms and everything]

Raven Hon, you've just discovered your sexual side. Personally I despise those words that label a person as bad for enjoying sex. If a guy your age was doing the same thing his Dad would be cheering him on. If you enjoy it and use your head about protection then whose right is it to condemn you for that? Most of the ones who would seek to put you down are wishing they were in a position to do the same. Feel good about you. You're a beautiful vibrant young lady.

You right Sharni, its not a nice word.

Ummm, how to say this? Raven, i guess its because now you've finally found out how good sex is, you want to have it all the time. call it novelty value or something. But enjoy it!

However, if you feel this way about it, perhaps you might want to sit down and try and decide where you want to go with your sex life. But its your call, Raven, we can be here to listen and sympathize if you need us to. No sense in beating yourself up over it, it doesn't work, been there myself! ;-)

Take care

raven18,

A slut is a slovenly, depraved woman. If you discuss your sexual behavior with people who condemn multiple partners (either in series or in parallel) then the feedback you get will be colored by their opinions. If you discuss the same behaviors with the people who have a different vision of healthy sexual activity - Pixies comes to mind here, the feedback you’ll get will be rather different.

You are designed to be sexually active at your age. Your interest in, and desire to explore your sexuality is what, in aggregate, replenishes the species. Society (your folks, friends, community et al) find it immensely easier to get on with the many other burdens of life if the fires of youth are actively managed. Social pressures such as negative feedback about taboo behaviors have proven to be effective tools.

The transformation from a child into an adult – not an older child or an ageing adolescent – is a complex process. You will come to terms with compromise, although that proved to be difficult for me. You will recognize that ideals are to be striven for and not necessarily achieved. You are, with the onset of sexual activity adding to the number of complexities in your life. These years are unavoidably difficult.

The way you are using the word describes how you feel about yourself. You don’t seem like a slut to me, but what is paramount is how you feel about yourself. If you are using multiple sexual partners to fill an emptiness within, then you would be better served fixing the void than filling it. Take you life at a pace that suits you, not some you that you think you “should” be.

Good luck.

There's nothing wrong with enjoying yourself, whether it's sex or anything else. As long as it's not harmful to yourself or anyone else. So don't give this idiot a second thought.
Tony

Mine wouldn't.

Tony, I think u missed the point. jseal was offering good advice, and he's more or less right.

The point is the poor girl is beating herself up mentally. We are not talking about whether the sex itself is right or wrong. Sex should be fun, and at the time it is, but Raven is now feeling bad. That, IMO, is the point. She's gone from being a virgin to having sex on a regular basis, then to experimenting with threesomes and the rest of it. Its not the sex thats wrong.

For me this whole thing is very recent, cos I was in her position only 3 years ago, and no I'm not telling how old I am. Lets just say I was of slightly more years than Raven at the moment. :D

If it feels good, you are not hurting anyone (without explicit consent) and you are not violating your personal limits of comfort, and you fee lsecure in the environemnt you are in, then THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with doing what you want to!
If you like something and can share it with someone else than that is all the better!

Relax, all is well! HAVE FUN!

jseal was dead on..it's all about how you feel about yourself. If you feel comfortable with your life...then by all means..enjoy yourself..(just continue to be carefull).. but if you are second guessing yourself..using sex to fill an emptyness inside you and esentally just doing it because you think you should then maybe you should step back and regroup. Many people your age go through the same situation....peer pressure and need to feel loved and accepted as well as your own screaming hormones.

Other people's opinions really don't mean shit.. They can't tell you how you feel.. You're the one who lives your life. If you're exploring..enjoying yourself..being carefull and lovin it.. don't let others talk you into feeling guilty. How you feel about yourself is all that matters. Look into your own heart..the answers are there.

Good Luck

Sweetie, I AM A SLUT, and proud of it!!!!
The definition "slovenly unkempt woman" comes from the old Male dominated belief system that a woman who has sex for pleasure, and not for marriage and having kids can't respect herself or be respectable.
THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!

Hon, I have had more encounters than you list in the same period of time, including a 3sum or 2. I go to bars, and meet interesting, exciting, sexy people, and fuck them.
So what? Like you, I take excellent care of myself, am selective, and careful to avoid disease.
I am also a member of 2 different Women's Business organizations here. They don't know about my private life, and they don't need to. I am not foolish or naive enough to think that it would not affect my social standing.
In other words, what they don't know won't hurt ME!

Have fun, experiment, and keep BEING CAREFUL!!!!
(Have you experimented with other women yet? Yum!!)

Love,

Pixie's proud SLUT!!!!


Wicked Wanda

That is the big thing Raven, be careful. And from the sound of it you are. I've never had that many partners in that short of time but that doesn't mean anything.

I've been to a friends house where we partyed every night for a week. In that week the guys and gals switched who they were with every night. While I didn't have sex I was with a different girl every night, doing everything but sex. I don't see a problem with the way I acted, nor do I see a problem with the way the women acted. We were all having fun and doing what we wanted to do. We were all safe and nobody was treated any different.

I enjoy being sexually open. Sex has moved beyond the realm of simple reproduction. It is, to put it simply, a form of recreation.

I'm actually a little jealous Raven, I've not gotten any action in months now. And to be honest I'd rather have lots with different people then none at all.

Basically, you're a slut if you want to be a slut, that is, if you want to think of yourself as a slut.

How active you are sexually is irrelevant.

Anyone who decides you are a slut without knowing how you want to feel about yourself is a judemental fuckhead.

can i be number 8?

the way that i view a slut is a prostitute or a pornstar something along that order,

and as far as sex goes, some people experience it more often then others, and thats not a bad thing!

hell if i could get women i would want to please them, and since sex is the way to do it then i'd go right ahead and do it,

i've found that most people are idiots, and thats that, you can't let one person tell you what you are cause how the hell would they know?