Watch out for these new viruses
 

WARNING - MAJOR VIRUSES HAVE BEEN IDENTIFIED
Watch out for these new viruses...

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and
re-counting.

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a 7-inch Hard Drive with NO memory.

The Bob Dole (AKA Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old
floppy.

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then
E-mails everyone about what it did.

The Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is
stored.

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 300 Mb hard drive shrinks to 100 Mb, then
slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200 Mb.

The Jack Kevorkian Virus - Deletes all old files.

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor
doesn't care.

The Joey Buttafuoco Virus - Only attacks minor files.

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but
will be back.

AND THE FAVORITE...?"
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch
floppy . . . then discards it through Windows...!