Saw these alternate nursery rhymes...
 

And thought I would share.

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's arse
and turned it's wool to nylon

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman, What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon, Pies, you FOOL

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, He's funny that way

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept up beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

Mary had a little lamb


...and the Midwife was treated for shock!

Mary had a little lamb, it's fleece was scarlet red
The reason for this very strange deed
was a pick-axe through it's head

Mary had a little skirt with splits right up the sides
And every time that Mary walked the boys could see her thighs
Mary had another skirt twas split right up the front
but she didn't wear that one very often

Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill and now there's little Franky

Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to the heater
Everytime it turned around
It burned it's little






























nose off!

Hey! It's a child's nursery rhyme alternative! Geezzzzzzzz.......you people! :D

ROTFLMAO! Those are terrific.

cute cute!

Mary had a little sheep
And with the sheep she went to sleep
Mary had a little lamb
The sheep turned out to be a ram.
;)

Baa Baa black sheep
Have you any wool?
What the hell do you think it is? Feathers? :mad:

And.......according to Aerosmith.....



Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......when Jack and Jill went up that hill

She charged his ass a quarter

Well....he flipped his lid

Ah, cause what she did

Oh.....she shouldn't....hadn't.....oughtta!

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider who sat down beside her
So she smashed it with her spoon!








Or Mr. Sprinkles version.....

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider who sat down beside her
and said "What's up Bitch??"

Hickory Dickory DoK
Three mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
The rest escaped with minor injuries.

LOL@PF AND SS!

Mary had a little lamb
she also had a bear
I've often seen her little lamb
I've never seen her bear.


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
all the kings horses
and all the kings men
had omlette for tea.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to do something they didn't aughter
Jill came down with half a crown
and soon she had a daughter

LMAO

peater peater pussy eater
had a wife and loved to eater her
put her in a punkin shell
and there he fucked her up the ass as well

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......I love you guys!