The raunchy side of Pixies...
 

Want Some of This?

After 29 yrs of marriage, a woman decided she needed to do something to spice up her marriage.
She went out and bought a pair of crotchless panties, put them on, walked up to her husband and said, "Do you want some of this? "He replied, "Hell No... Look what it did to those panties!"

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Kid’s Point of View

These 2 little boys are sitting in the living room, watching TV with their parents. The mother looks over at the father with a wink and a nod toward the stairs to the bedroom. The father "gets" the message, and they both get up and head towards the stairs. The mother turns back to the 2 boys and says, "We're going upstairs for a minute. You two stay here and watch TV. We'll be right back, OK?"

The two boys nod OK, and the parents take off upstairs. The oldest of the 2 boys is old enough to know what's going on now, and he gets up and tiptoes upstairs. At the top of the stairs, he peeks into his mom and dad's room and shakes his head.

Back downstairs he goes, back to his little brother. "Come with me," he says, and the 2 little boys tiptoe up the stairs. Halfway up, the older brother turns to the younger brother and says, "Now I want you to keep in mind, this is the same woman who used to bust our ass for sucking our thumb!!!!

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The Fall

A Woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "God, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die." As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you give head?" "No!" she shrieked, aghast.
So, he dropped her. As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked. "Of course not!" she exclaimed. He dropped her, too.
The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw! I'll do any and everything you sexually desire!!" she screamed in panic.
The man replied, "Slut," and dropped her.

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The Wager

A deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy some condoms. He has difficulty communicating with pharmacist and cannot see condoms
on the shelf. Frustrated, he finally unzips his pants, places his dick on the counter and puts down a five dollar bill next to it. The pharmacist looks at it, smacks down another five dollars, unzips his pants, lays his penis across from the deaf mute's member, then picks up both bills and stuffs them in his pocket.
Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the pharmacist wildly in sign language.
"Look," the pharmacist says, "if you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't bet."

ROTFLMAO

lmao ... I loved the Kid's Point of View!!!

lmao...Thanks, I needed that!

OMG! ROTFLMAO! Good ones, Nubian.

LOL..... very funny stuff!!

Thanks!

Ass busting for thumb sucking... LMAO!!! Excellent!!!!

Really good ones Nubian! Now if only I can remember them and if only I could tell a joke!......Oh well.......least I got a laugh!

lol very amusing,

Two American ladies were vacationing in Paris.One of them always seemed to be complaining about everything.Oh,and the french men are supposed to be the greatest lovers in the world?Yeah I'll bet. Here,lets ask one passing by.Excuse me Mon Sewer,is it tue that the french men are the best lovers in the world? Oui.The man replied.Ze men of France are ze best lovers in all ze world. Well Pierre,What makes the french men the best lovers?she asked,What would yo do to me to make me believe it? Why,replied the man,I would kiss your belly button.KISS MY WHAT??? Kiss my belly button? How would that make me believe the french men are the world's best lovers? Ah,Madame,I would keess eet from zee inside.

Splitting my side Nubian. Good one lakritze

Re: The raunchy side of Pixies...
 

Why does he talk to a deaf mute? ;) :p

(Edit - Hrm..this isn't raunchy at all...but eh, it's funny )

NB: For those of you who don't know, John Howard is the Prime Minister of Australia.

John Howard phones up the Queen, and says to her, "Liz, I reckon Australia should become a Kingdom". The Queen voices her disapproval: "No John, for if Australia were a Kingdom, you would have to be a King, and you are certainly no King".
Little Johnny bargains: "Well, how about an Empire?" But again, the Queen disagrees: "No John, for if Australia were an Empire, you would be an Emperor, and you are certainly no Emperor".
Little Johnny thinks for a while, and says "Hrm....what about a Principality?" But yet again, the Queen doesn't think him worthy. "No John, for Australia to be a Principality, you would have to be a Prince, and you are certainly no Prince".
Exasperated, Little Johnny says "Well, what do you suggest, Your Majesty?"
Quick as a flash, the Queen shoots back, "I think Australia should most definitely remain a country" :D

Read that last line aloud if you don't get it.

That was Quite entertaining Nubian...................LMAO

Thanks for the Laugh. :)