What drove me away from my wife
 

I was reading another thread about a guy not being physically attracted to his wife and am putting my life experience down.

I was never really turned on by my wife physically. She was and is a fairly gawky woman. Not someone you would give a second look to if you were a guy 'window shopping' in the mall.

She was however, single, never married, living with an overbearing mother and wanted to have a partner to love her and raise a family with. Above all, I suppose in the light of hindsight, she was available and wanted me.

I found her personable but quite unsure of herself, reasonably intelligent but not well educated.

I had just lost a girlfriend who I was extremely attracted to physically and emotionally. She had been in a previous abusive relationship and was unable to enter into a relationship.

My wife and I both filled a big hole in each others lives and that was such an improvement for us both that we were happy for some time. The sex was terrible really. She was so modest it was several years befor I saw her fully naked. Only missionary no oral, no experimentation and only in the dark of night.

When the kids were born she seemed to lose interest and it became once a month. Later it got less and after 10 years and trying all I could to get her to be responsive I lost interest.

I found that the only thing we really had in common was the children. She had no opinions about things much except for clothes and the kids things. I went on the internet and met other people but never strayed physically or had a real life affair.

My wife and I share the same house but I live downstairs. We only are together for the sake of the kids and because we cannot afford to be apart at the moment.

I see more of her overbearing mother appearing all the time and I have no liking of it at all. She is always critical of me, puts me down but never seems to mind taking my pay cheque.

I could no more have sex with than eat shit and that is never going to happen.

The good news is that a lovely lady who i met in Pixies chat is coming to see me early next year and we hope that what we see in each other by chat, email, phone and letter is reciprocated in face to face meeting. I have learned some hard lessons. Don't marry someone because you are lonely and feel unloveable. learn as much about the person as you can. Have some common interests and have that spark of physical attraction as well as friendship.

Internet affairs. Never fall in love with anyone on the net. Do not trust anything on the net. Meet the person live and view evasivness for whatever reason with the utmost suspicion.

I got very very hurt by falling in love on the net and not seeing the situation for what it really was. I was clouded to reason really, being a caring sensetive person make you exceptionally vunerable to manipulation. I am at last making sense of things and am ready willing and determined to move forwards and stop looking backwards.

I do not intend to love and lose with my next relationship. I will use the failures of the past help me make the right judgments for the right reasons.

You've sure got my very best wishes and I hope everything works out well for you. Admire you being able to share so much that is both personal and, I'm sure, a touch painful.

Take care.

Hugs Grumble.. I can only hope that whomever this VERY lucky Pixie Lady is will continue to see in you all the wonderful attributes that you posess.. you are indeed a great guy.. I wish you the best...

Opening up like that, I can see you like your 'family' here at Pixie's, and it helps to get it out, somehow. It's like a bird in a cage, you let it out, it flies away, and you're happy that it's free. So...

Let it fly away, be free, move on, and be happy! ;)

Does your wife enjoy her live???
What have you done to repair this situation??
Give up, nothinig else???

In answer to Jojo

Yes quite a lot actually. Marriage counselling twice and when we got referred to a sex therapist she refused to go. I tried everything I could think of really over a lot of years.

People who know me already know that I don't give up easily.

No she is not happy, either am I. This situation is unbearable for me and I am moving on. We all deserve some happiness and I want some for me for once.

you do deserve happiness GG... you seem to have tried more than most would.. I commend you for your efforts.. but you are correct... it is time for you to find your own happiness... HUGS..

Thanks Jenna, so do you Hun, hugs back

Grumbleguts

thank you. this is one of the bravest and most honest things i have ever read. i also think that it is a positive step just to open yourself and talk about it.

i hope things work out well, do not give up believing. i think that you are worth knowing, i think that you have value.

best of all things to you

wildeye

I am one of the honoured ppl who know more about your situation than most GG, I am truly happy for you. You deserve all the happiness you can find, and I hope you find it with your new love.
All my best wishes for a brighter future GG. Hugs

grumbleguts, i cam empathize with you mate, i am one of the unlucky ones, I was under the assumption me and my ex had the perfect life, and i guess looking back we did, except...communication we basically had none, and so she ended up leaving me for someone else without so much as a goodbye, i had to learn from mutual friends where she had gone, it has been a few years since that happened and i had basically resigned myself to a life alone because i did not feel i could ever trust anyone again. I have since met a very wonderful woman, whom i can share anything with and her me, when we have a problem we know the first thing we must do is communicate, we hope to be together permanently by the end of the year, I Love This woman with my whole being, and i never thought i would be happy again, but good things do happen to good people, we have both decided that we want to be happy together, I hope and pray you find the same my friend!! and hope that your pixies found romance blossoms the same as me and hellsbells!

Since I'm pretty new here, I've been looking through the different areas in Pixie's. Your tag is Grumble Guts. It doesn't fit your face. You have a very pleasant demeanor, sir. (Not flirting, just stating a fact.) I hope you and the lady have a wonderful meeting.

Thank you for the compliment Mae :)

I am responsible for the nickname. At the time I came up with it I had an upset tummy and was farting a lot. I was looking for something original as bigdick, hornystud and nicks like that leave me cold. So it seemed a good idea at the time and it amused me.

I dont grumble all that much

(((((((( GG ))))))))

You know I wish you and your new lady all the best!! I hope you both find the love and happiness you deserve. Your terrific people.

My love to you both!!
*hugs & kisses* teddy

hope things work out well for you and that your "wounds" heal as well as mine are doing xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx