Theatre wants naked ushers
 

A GERMAN theatre said it was looking for three naked ushers to help show guests to their seats at the premiere of a new play this week.

The play, "Atta Atta - art breaks free," is by Christoph Schlingensief and opens Thursday at the Berliner Volksbuehne in central Berlin.

Schlingensief is a reputed provocateur behind a string of publicity-seeking stunts, such as sticking pins into a voodoo doll made out to look like one of Germany's top politicians.

Last year he narrowly escaped prosecution for alleged incitement after torching a straw puppet lookalike of Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon.

Now, I can see how naked usher"ettes" could be a real great thing. "Mamm, I dropped my keys in my lap, could you help me find them. They're with something hard and long."

I might sit through the play twice ... and not remember a word that was said.