Morals be damned or embraced?
 

There have been many threads on here about "what is cheating", "Is Cyber cheating", and the answers have been as varied as the wonderful people here at Pixies. We all talk about is it cheating on your spouce if you talk to a certain person almost everyday in IM, some you say yes, some say no way. But this thread asks the question just a step further.

I consider myself to be a fairly moral person. I say fairly because I am the type of guy who if I saw a little old man drop his wallet and he didnt know it, I would retrieve it and give it back to him, no problem. However if I saw a guy I didnt like drop his wallet and he didnt know, and I picked it up and a wad of 100 dollar bills poked out of it, it would go into my pocket without a tinge of guilt.

But I am actually thinking about the moral dilema of monagamy. We all have opinions on this, and I myself with the exception of many online friends have never been unfaithful or even lied to my spouce about anything. But the thing that rolls in my mind is that there are things I don't get at home and I am very open and talk about them with my spouce and know will never happen.

So what has been rolling around in my mind is that I know myself and I know that someday, it may be when I am 50, I will probably cheat...this bothers me and doesnt at the same time...what do you people think??????

(BTW, Lixy be damned...that was a longass post)

I would return the $$$$ to anyone who dropped it.........I will never physically cheat on my spouse.......(emotionally I have come close enough to feel guilty, those damn burry lines, and IMs)

I think just knowing you WILL cheat speak volumes........to me it speaks of intentions. What keeps you from cheating today? Are you just assuming that one day you will be so tempted that you can not refuse but til now have not been so tempted?

Come lie on Dr. Lilith's couch this requires exploration :p

I think it just means my moral centers are not in the place society says they should be, is that a bad thing? Depends on who you ask.

what is cheating? i always thought it was breaking my word by doing something i said i wouldn't. keeping that in mind i'll say that i won't have sex without her there but i sure won't say i won't look at an other woman. i only cheated once in my life and told her about it when i got home and she asked where i was. i've also said flat out that a relationship wasn't going to stay monogamous when i was knew i couldn't happily be confined like that. she had the choice to stay or go.

Well I think that it is you, not society that has to face your spouse and yourself... If you can accept it then others be damned.

Does Lilith's couch have shackles?

Realising some fantasies is compatible within a relationship, others are not.

It's a little unfair as you may not have had this fantasy when you were asked and expected to make the monogamous committment.

A moral is the accepted custom/practice of a community/culture. Given that 60%+ of westerners cheat, you could presume that this was the moral imperative.

Yes......

and excellent point!!!!! Has cheating become not only the expected but accepted practice in heathen countries like the US??????????;)

Just hold on there - since when did you have the monopoly on being heathen?

We were torturing and burning heathens before you were even invented.

Us heathens may now be the majority - Nuns and Priests be warned??!!

Vigil I agree with you, I actually have many catholic friends who I know have cheated on their spouses and think it is ok, because to them getting a divorce is so much worse.

I think that I could forgive a "physical" cheat, but never when my s/o's heart and soul are cheating too! Been on the recieving side and hope that I never cause that much hurt to anyone!

I wasn't married but as of recent I was in a relationship that ended badly and in my heart I know it was because someone else had entered the picture. Worse feeling in the world. Being unfaithful to your spouse is the absolute worse pain in the world to put upon someone else. Don't do it it's just not worth it in the end. You will lose everything including your self respect. The word "Cheat" speaks for itself.

Cheat is a blurred and emotional term like love.

To him, basking in the glow of a platonic relationship may be OK,

to her, a cheat.

Phone sex, or cyber sex may or may not be, depending on viewpoint.

Sex in an open relationship may not be (at a stretch).

Morals are the limits you place on yourself, and when you cross the line,

you've done a bad thing.

cheating can only be difined by 2 people the ones in the relationship where some people cheating might be have fantasies about some one else and others there might be all most nothing that is off limits

Adding another twist though...how many people have said for years that they would never cheat and they never did...NOR did they ever expect to or LOOK to do so..

but when truly faced with the decision, the reality of what they say they'd do and what they actually ended up doing are two different things.

Geez.........does that make sense?


I think there are many good souls out there who cheat in different aspects of their lives...whether it is in their marriage or any other behavior that society deems dishonest.



Again, geez..am I even on topic? LOL

RandyGal~ I think part of that is what Skip was getting at........I think he is saying (and forgive me if I fuck it up) that he knows his self well enough to be able to say that he has desires that he will not always be able to deny.

I said I will never cheat.......the whole truth is I try VERY hard not to put myself in a position where I might be tempted. I have great morals and shit self control.