LixyChick |
04-16-2003 06:09 AM |
He ain't heavy.....He's my brother!
I've been really reluctant to share this...but I feel it's time I did, if only to get it off my chest (so to speak).
I last heard from my brother in March of 1996. We had quite an argument and I was never going to talk to him again (for as long as I felt like not talking to him). He was living with my dad and he got a check from a lawsuit he had settled and he took off to who knows where. It was a lot of money but it wasn't rightfully his. He owed back child support and it was to go to that. It never did. Dad recieved some bank statements and cancelled checks. Brother bought a truck and was on the move to who knows where. The statements stopped and brother never called or came home. The family assumed he went to Colorado, as he had gone there before. This wasn't the first time he just took off to places unknown. But he always came "home" in time. Dad died in 1997 and we were livid that brother didn't show up for the funeral. Years passed and still no word.
Two years ago, my older sister and I filed a nation-wide missing persons report. There were some hits at first....of John Doe's....but it never turned out to be brother. After a while it went dormant.
Now before you start thinking, Geezzzzzzz...why'd they wait so long to file?........I have to tell you, he was married but seperated at the time and had "his own life" to live. As I said before, he had done this MIA stuff many times, just never this long. We were reluctant to believe that something had happened to him. Brother is 4 years older than me and very stubborn and egotistical (self centered). I say that because I know him best and I can say that without talking behind his back. That's what the argument we had was about.
Now we know why he didn't come to say goodbye to dad. A few weeks ago we got word that he had been identified. A body was found in a schoolyard in May of 1996. No identification was found on the body and only a lighter (from a store exclusive to a town he had lived in prior to moving to dad's) was found in a back pocket. In 96, the authorities in San Mateo, Ca. (where the body was found) placed a notice in a paper in the county which that store was located. It was a small article and very vague. No one we know ever saw it or (if they did) thought to think it was my brother. Recently, the administration changed in San Mateo, and they were trying to clear up unidentified cases. The new administration placed the article in the same paper again. The authorities where we placed the report caught the article and my brother was identified though the missing person's report filed two years ago.
It's a much, much longer story than this.....but this is the basic gist.
Saturday....April 26, 2003......we will hold a memorial for my brother. He was 42 at the time of his death. His children and grandchildren will be attending the service. He never knew he was a grandfather. I've been agonizing over his eulogy....which I insisted that I deliver.
I think, what I'm asking here......is not pity for me or my family.......but strength from my "surrogate" family! Please keep Saturday.....April 26th in your thoughts and send me some strength to be able to deliver the best eulogy I can muster! I just need strength to get through this!
TY for listening.........*hugs you all*
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