Are Men As Sensitive as Women?
 

Hi...

Havent posted in a while and am looking for some answers....

Am I being too sensitive??

A couple of uears ago me and my wife had some problems... this ended up with us seperating but through talking we managed to get back together.

We have been back together now for nearly 2 years and I have been to counciling twice in that time. Although I am now a stronger person now I think I am still trying to please her...
for example...
its her birthday today... I did what I could to make it special - getting specific presents etc and still after all this time ( married for 10 years - although with a year break )am running out of options... I know she loves me but I dont think its in the I move her world kind of way..... do I sound like a woman now? This may sound sexist against women but I am not trying to be.. maybe what I am trying to say is Am I too soft?

A few years ago, I would've thought I had it all figured out.

My response would've been along the lines of:

She fell in love with you and you two married...there must've been something there that she saw and liked, right? Are you too soft? Are you not? I don't know, but she probably does. Ask her. Communication is essential in a relationship.


Now, however, though I still believe communication is essential...I've had it pointed out to me that female minds are much more subtle than men's so-called minds. :p It's not always comfortable for two people to have those conversations, even though they're very much in love. So we talk with our actions.

Listen to the little things she's "saying". She's unintentionally dropping clues, and you can read them. They'll give you great insight into what she likes now and what she may want to see change. Stop listening to your thoughts and start listening to hers.

Good advice, WI.

Back in '82, my wife and I made a Marriage Encounter. Don't know how many of you have heard or gone on one, but it was fantastic. It wasn't for couples having problems per se', just for couples that wanted to become closer. It did that for us. Helped both, I think, to learn how to communicate better without being judgemental.

For us, it was great. And for about 15 years after that, I shared daily love letters with my wife (missing a few ... very few). We don't do that any more, but we still communicate much better than we ever did before the weekend.

We learned how to do what WI talked about.

Might look at the website: http://www.wwme.org/

It's easy to lose touch with each other. The stress of life, kids, job, family etc takes over. That's why it's important to take time to communicate with one another. Such communication doesn't have to be intense, just regular...Mr Osuche and I take walks most evenings and talk then.

I find people get into ruts in their marriage, and the spark can dwindle. I think that's the thing that I am most afraid of...that Mr Osuche will some dya find me uninteresting, boring, and plain. I combat this possibility by keeping his mind engaged -- I read a lot, we talk about current events, we try new things, have people over, go on weekend trips. Life is about variety. No one wants to eat mac and cheese 365 days a year.

My advice? Spice things up. Tune into her needs. Try something different. Talk about something new. She may find that is the greatest present you could give her.