What the hell does that mean??
 

Okay people, I know we are all a bunch of crazies from different parts of the world not too mention our areas of our countries... But lately we are all using crazy sayings that although they might be common to those close to us, they are gibberish to everyone else...So here is the place to give it up...The dictionary of personal sayings...

Some of my personal faves to say all the time, Im sure much to the displeasure of those around me:

Whatever Floats your Boat...means...go ahead

Thats like pissing on a rope sideways...means...thats hard

Go shoot yourself in the ass of rabbit...means... I do not know what this means, my grandpa just used to say it so now i do.

GO for it people...

like pissing in the wind.... it's a self defeating venture

my grammy would say...Ya get used ta hanging if ya hang long enough...means...just get over it

and....... he shit in his hat!!! meaning he screwed his self over

"If wishes were horses, beggers would ride"~ Work hard for what you want as it won't just come to you by wishing. ~MOM~
(saying this to a 4 year old, made me look at her like a deer in the headlights!)

"Let sleeping dogs lay"~Don't stir up trouble where there is none.

"Shit in one hand and wish in the other and see which one get's filled faster"~Don't be ridiculous in the degree of things you expect, knowing you could never achieve this goal in your current monetary situation.

"Never judge a book by it's cover"~Get to know a person before you make any particular assumptions about his/her character or personality.

"Give him enough rope and he will hang himself"~Let a person go on and on with a lie and sooner or later he will be caught.

Mrs. Lix

I have a friend who always had the funniest expressions -- they've found their way into my own vocabulary over the years - here's just a selection of them.

"looked at him/her like he/she just crawled out of cheese" - looked at a person with kind of disgusted look.

"I feel (or -you look) like a mad woman through the shed" - well just get the picture a woman running screaming through the shed - hair pulled in all directions and straw catching it .... it's not a really good day!

"slicker then snot on a glass door knob" .. it's easy (kind of like the old one - easy as pie)

"just like a fart in a skillet" - this means - the person jumps around a lot (physically, mentally, etc.)

"dumber than a post" - well I guess you can all guess this one.

That's all I can think of at the moment. jjjjbo

Hope ya chooks turn into emus and kick down ya dunny door!~ya hope someones gets bad luck

If it were raining palaces, I'd get hit on the head by a dunny door~very unlucky

Todays P.O.E.T.S day~Todays Friday (Piss Off Early Tomorrows Saturday)

Gonna do me lolly, narna or nut~ Going to lose one's temper

Hi all

My contributions:

"as popular as a fart in a spacesuit" - Not well liked

"do one legged ducks swim in circles?" - it's a certainty
"does the pope wear a silly hat?" - as above
"do bears shit in the woods?" - as 2 above

"riding the chocolate speedway" - anal sex

These are some of the milder pearls of wisdom I have used. Explicit phrases can be obtained only on production of a signed waiver from a priest. ;)

Glyndwr~well I happen to know a priest who is just hanging around and willing to sign anything;) more please:p

"if I fell in a barrel of tits I'd come out sucking my thumb" - I'm unlucky

"sweating like a paedophile in Disneyland" - perspiring profusely

"a face like a smacked arse" - looking shocked

"a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp" - very ugly

as ugly as a hatfull of arsholes ......... self explanatory LOL

six of one, half dozen of the other ...... very similar

your a rumun ........ went to the dictionary couldn't think of the right words. It is a mainly Tasmanian saying ........
4. rum 'un , Chiefly Tas an odd or eccentric person.

better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick .... be grateful its OK.

as popular as a pork chop in a synagogue .... very offensive

I think I have a couple...

six in one half dozen the other = don't matter either way

fuck me running, sideways, down a razorblade, into a pool of rubbing alcohol, on Sunday = I am amazed

cool beans = That is very good

bitch ditch bastard ass = a very unkind remark unless directed at a good friend wherefore it is a lighthearted jest

Here's a few more I've remembered from various people in my life:

"he made out like a fat rat in a cheese factory" - did pretty well for himself

"off like a new bride's bra" - you are out of there quickly.

"my sister talked sooooo slow that before she could say she wasn't that kind of a girl ..... she was" - well it's just a saying we laugh about a lot.

"bless his pointy little head" - it's kind of a sarcastic thank you.

and from one of my english friends:

"love a flamin' duck" -- it's an expression of surprise.

Oh my this is funny.
lix you had some very good and true ones.
jjjbo your dumber that a post reminded me of

"That is as useful as six tits on a boar hog"

Aqua's is close to "Fuck me running in a rolling jelly donut down a hill"

But one for someone who is doing something that should of been doe sooner is "That is good, shut the barn door after the horse gets out."

Heres our code for ugly girls in colllege

Shes a cracker...

Meaning: She is so ugly even if you wanted to whistle at her you wouldnt be able too.

ROFLMAO....that's about my luck Glyndwr...a departed friend of mine used to say, "If it was raining soup, we'd be stuck with a fork"

Also heard this one couple years back:
"She could scare a pit bull off of a meat wagon"...extremely UGLY!

My boss in Mississippi was fond of saying

"That's uglier than homemade sin!"--EEEEK!

and

"feeling like the red-headed stepchild"--feeling left out

Thought of some more........LOL!

Oh yeah, well if my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle~When folks say....If I win the lottery (or other facsimile) I'm gonna do______________.(fill in the blank)

My ass is a piano, play me~Shut up and leave me alone!

As useless as tits on a nun~(self explainitory)

LMAO!!!

Mrs. Lix

"If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose"--Nurse at work talking about her eldest son

"Confused as a baby in a topless bar" - self explanitory

"They don't come here for flat feet"--Dr. Swana, a psychatrist who used to work at the clinic...discussing patients' behaviors

ok i thought of a few while reading this:

"colder than a witch's tit on a winter's morn" ~ from my gramma meaning "its fucking freezing out here"

"slicker than greased dog shit" ~ a friend you to say it all the time, he used it to describe anything really slick (like the bottom of the lake at a drop off) or a guy you would want to do buissness with

"if i could i would but i cant" ~ whats it says

thats all i can think of right now....if i think of anymore i'll post em

"I'm cuttin glass in here" Meaning we're freezing our asses off

"Yea and I'm Mother Theresa" HIGHLY UNLIKELY

shit a brick (and balance a fart on a clothesline) - means that the task you've been given is either too hard, too drawn out or both

Happier than a puppy with 2 peters - means extremely happy :D
(he she it ) could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon - horribly smelly
I was sweating like a whore in church - uncomfortable or very hot
well shoot me and fuck me dead - either somethings very wrong , or big surprise
colder than a witches tit in a brass bra - very cold
slower than molasses on a cold winter morn - slow very slow
well knock me over with a feather - surprised

Stand back everyone! Our prayers have been answered.
 

Uncle Silky, this thread from heaven must have been sent for you.:confused:
Please just tell us how many pages we need to reserve for you to make us a USetta stone?:D

"Rode hard & put up wet" refers to horses originally, but also someone who's hung over from partying

do you want little cheese with that whine? for moaners and groaners

like pulling hen's teeth to get you to do that!

well we know hens dont have teeth....

you could never suffer from hemmoroids...your such a perfect asshole

I'm so broke ...I cant pay attention

Just the first of many to come to mind
 

“I’d rather sandpaper a bobcats’ ass in telephone booth”-:( Something very difficult or dangerous to do.

“You feed him/her with a long handle spoon”-:eek: Caution in dealing with that person.

“He/she is so tight you can’t drive a greased toothpick up his ass with a 20 Lb. sledge”-:rolleyes: Cash conservative.

keep on wit da keepin-on, pantyman. i'm carvin out some really purdy granite as we speak.

here are a few...

"Beggers cant be choosers"

"Thats a brown bagger." - for an ugly person...the only way you would have sex with them if they had a brown bag over their head

"Is the pope Catholic?" - one of two sarcastic replys

"and I'm the queen of england." - my second sarcastic saying.

"slower than a slug in peanut butter" - going very very slowly

"broke as a joke" - is very broke

happy as a bastard on father's day - extremely unhappy

Glyndwr---I have heard people awnser;when"Does a bear;shit in
the woods?";is said to them;NO;not if he lives in a zoo! Irish

I forgot one :(....

"And people in hell want ice water!" - what you requested is not going to happen.

"Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs" well, wouldn't you be too?

When I'm having an out-of-control day at work, and one more moron asked me to do something, I say to them, "do you want fries with that?"

And my ultimate favorite now is from Pantyfanatic - "If God didn't want you to play with it he would have put it between your shoulderblades." I get a lot of mileage out of that one! Thanks!

Taking wisdom from PF, oh no what is the world coming too.

Thank you Reesa-
 

Glad you like it:). Makes sense to me. (DANGER SIGN):confused :) LOL
In one of my few lucid moments:rolleyes:, I coined that myself. That’s the only reason I don’t change it.




Skipthisone- puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu:p (raspberries) lol
Even a blind pig finds an occasional acorn. ;)

P.F.---Pity them not;for they no not from wence(sp?);they speak!
(Biblical saying;just made up; by Irish) Irish

I found this one on a website, a list of sayings for women on high stress days

"Having a hard-on does not qualify as personal growth"

and my favorite, "How do you set a laser printer to stun?"