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You might be a sex addict...
In the spirt of Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck" I'm proud to bring to Pixies....
You might be a sex addict.... If your workday is interrupted by thoughts of sex. If your thoughts of sex are interrupted by work. If you've ever humped your dog's leg. If you rate pornos by their difficulty level. If a trip to the hardware store conjures up thoughts of bondage. If your S/O considers you to be the "All Mighty". |
Nah, I just worked out I can't do without it.
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very clever Souls
does that mean I'm a Red Neck Sex Addict? oooooooooo.......Too much information |
my s/o....for some reason calls me ....oh my god.....oh my god......
but you may be a sex addict if you practice daily typing onehanded for those encounters in the chatrooms..... hummm...guess im a redneck sex addict too.... |
Lets....yep I fit in almost all of those areas except the hardware store. I must be an addict
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damn.....i work it a hardware dept .........uhoh....
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If a visit to your local ice cream parlor makes you horny (ppl sucking and licking long creamy treats, need i say more). If furniture shopping criteria involves whether you can easily stand up, bend over, or hang from said object while fucking your S/O. If a fish market confuses your senses. If an interest in bdsm turned into a handiman (like your relatives really believe all those hooks are for macrame'). If your fridge/cupboard has more than one of the following items: honey, redi-whip, chocolate syrup, or more strawberries than are used in any recipe. |
Hmmmm I am pretty sure all of all those except the dog........I mean I have been with some bitches and some guys I considered dogs but....... ;)
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I think I'm there on most of them, esp seeing as MrX and I sorta broke the couch the other night...doh!
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If you've ever had an orgasm at your desk at work while looking (or thinking) about Pixies.
MissX ~ Did you at least take pics of you and MrX breaking the sofa? ;) |
you may be asex addict if you walk round town all day and
not be able to find any one you have not had sex with or have to move to a bigger city to find new sex partners:D |
If you remember all of your ex's by favorite position.
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If you've paid more on indecent exposure fines than the government took for income tax.
If you have more sex than you do sleep. If you go through beds like some people go through sox. If you've had to sound proof your bedroom so you wouldn't wake the kids/neighbors/dogs/anyone in the next state. If you go to the gym to train for sex. If your S/O has to sneek outta the house to go to work so as to avoid being tackled back into bed. If you've gotten more crack than Harlem. If a fortune cookie actually says that you will 'die in bed'. If every sex shop owner in town is on a first name basis with you. If your S/O ices there private parts every night. If the only difference between a marathon and you having sex is a strip of material at the finish line. If you lick more pussy than your pet cat. If you've seen more wiener than Oscar Mayer. If you've eaten so much pussy you can't help but belch. |
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rotflmao liked this one very funny. Quote:
Ive done this one.....made a bit of a mess though. got cum over the desk and floor. |
OMG SOULS!!!!!!!!!
I was laughing so hard my wife almost thought i was choking on somethin!!!!!!! |
Thats my boy, chokes ya up hm? heheh I know the feeling MB ;)
Kyttn |
If half the porns at your local video store feature you as an extra (or headliner).
If you take viagra like most people take breath mints, a handfull at a time. If you're revising the Kama Sutra in your spare time. If after you fuck a prostitute they pay you. If you think a "Jock" strap is a form of bondage. If phone sex has a different meaning to you (watch out for the antennae on those cordless phones ladies). If you know all of your friends in the "Biblical" sense. |
If you buy condoms by the crate or truckload. If you get wet from watching the Discovery channel. If you can tell how many people are on a bed by the squeak of the springs. If your S/O tells you to have an affair so he/she can get some sleep. If you continually sport a tousled hair look. If you know more positions than your yoga instructor. If you think that all Porn Stars are amateurs compared to you and your S/O. If the sound of a zipper makes your pulse race. If you hear God said more times in your bedroom than you do in church. If your back looks like a scratching post. If (900) comes before your phone number. If your house is designed with sex in mind. If you’ve made a list of Pixie member’s fantasies. If you’re half way through the list already. If you go grocery shopping because you’re out of “sex condiments”. |
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Sounds like a lethal combination to me....... Does that mean you like to do it in the back of your pick-up truck??????:D :D |
If you have a "happy" from watching an Herbal Essence commercial.
If you've ever been to the hospital for dehydration, excessive rug burns, rope burns, blood loss, or dislocated appendages due to any form of sexual activity. If rough sex is covered by your medical insurance. |
:D :D :D :D
Fabulous!! :D :D :D :D |
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