Clichés and Famous Lines (innuendos)
 

I was looking through the threads and clichés kept poping up in my head. So I thought why not get everyone in on it! How many clichés or famous lines can be misconstrued? Now there are obvious ones that are suppose to be innuendos. But with a little creativity and sexual interest, some ordinary clichés and phrases could become very funny and/or erotic.

For example:
When I saw the picture by jbnbj69n of all her toys, this phrase popped in my mind.
- "The one with the most toys in the end wins!"
or
- "Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been!" But, what if you know where it's been?
or
- "It just keeps getting harder and harder."


Are you game? Who's up for the challenge?

They'll get what's coming to them in the end!

Well, if that don't beat all... (Multi-Masturbation Machine??)

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle...
(sorry, inside joke, but there are a couple people here that will get it!... I hope!)

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush... (I think I'd rather have my bird in the bush... two in the bush is a pretty tight fit though!)

What goes around, comes around. (Snowballing anyone?)

Here's one but it's ancient
 

You get used to hanging if you hang long enough.

How about these few....


There is no place like home.....(hehe)

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

and

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

"You're so sweet!"
 

Aquaman43's reminded me of this one!
"If you can't beat em, join em"

How about an old commercial
"How many lick does it take to get to the center?"

Exploration?
"Boldly go where no man has gone before!"

...
"It comes with time!"

here's one
 

It takes a lickin' and keeps right on tickin'!~~~~~~~>Lilith

My favorites are when someone puts a new twist on an old cliche, e.g.;

"A fool & his money were lucky to get together in the first place"

Truncated
 

Blondes have more.......

Money is the root of all.......

Uh...
 

truncated too...

A good man is hard



Ophelia

Another take on "good man"
 

I can't remember where I first heard it, but I know it was a woman who said it, "A hard man is good to find."

One of my favorties is transposing the old "If they can't take a joke, fuck 'em."

"If they can't take a fuck, joke 'em."

One more
 

I just remembered the punchline to an old joke.

"Why is your organ so small?"
"I didn't know I was going to be playing in a cathedral."

or the variation of a man comparing the size of his wife's ass to a gas gril:

"You think I'm gonna fire this up for that little weiner?"

Well...
 

I bartend part time, and am notorious for turning EVERYTHING into an innuendo...it's one of my favorite games...

"I'll give you a shot"

"Did you just ask for my cream?"

"3 slippery nipples? Well, I only have 2, and their not slippery yet, but I can work on that and get back to you"

Yeah, so I'm cheezy! The customers love it, and it helps pass the time!

Ophelia

thought of these this morning
 

Tis better to give than to receive.........(yah right!;) )


As for the switched around kind-
Why aren't you, smuckin' fart?

~~~~~~~~~>Lilith

An old saw goes, "The meek shall inherit the earth." Nowadays it's more "the GEEKS shall inherit the earth."

Lilith
 

Reminds me of what a friend used to say...
"Yup, he's a real fart smeller..."

If you had time to do it twice, you had time to do it right the first time...


Live and let live.


It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.


If you can't dazzle them with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit.


Don't worry, be happy ! :D :D

LOL!!!
 

I like the truncated idea too!!
"Well, Blow me... "

Here's a quote form General Patton:
"The test of success is not what you do when your on top. Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom."

And a few more famous phrases...
--Give it some juice!
--Freshly squeezed!
--Slippery when wet!

:bump:

A horse is dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle.


--kathy

One of my favourite quotes from Stan Laurel."You can lead a horse to water,but a pencil must be lead." I don't know if it qualifies for this post,but I always thought it was funny.

Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

Just imagine what you'd've said shortly before that famous plop, plop, fizz, fizz. . .


"I can't believe I ate the whole thing!"



thanx fer the :bump: "CCOZ"

I hate to be the one to post this but.........and this one time at band camp.....................

We don't stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Catch and I are already planning to be the randiest old couple at the nursing home. :molest:



--kathy

All for one, and one for all

Already got one paw on the chicken coop

The walls have ears

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
-- Author Unknown


okey dokey, now did one of you guys write this about me and Catch?
--kathy

The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.

But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. --- Carl Sagan

My favorite Yoggi Berra (Baseball player) quotes

"It ain't over till it's over."
" I couldn't tell if the streaker was a man or a woman because it had a bag on it's head."
"In baseball, you don't know nothin'."
"How can you think and hit at the same time?"
"Slump ? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hittin."
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it!"
"You got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
"It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much."
Yogi Berra on seeing a Steve McQueen movie: - "He must have made that before he died"
"You can observe a lot just by watchin'."
"A nickel isn't worth a dime today"
After seeing the opera Tosca, Yogi remarked, "I really liked it, even the music was nice"
"If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them"
"Nobody goes there anymore its too crowded"
"It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future"
"I want to thank you for making this day necessary." -- On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in St. Louis in 1947.
"Do you mean now?" -- When asked for the time.
"I take a two hour nap, from one o'clock to four."
And last but not least

"It get's pretty dark out there during those night games "

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright till they speak.

The mother or father, the sister or cousin, even granny or gramps could do it but "Don't let the sun go down on me!" :bj: