Never...
 

eat pizza before kickboxing.


Please help me compile a list of things to NEVER do :D

Never remove wall paper yourself..no matter how good it feels while doing it..
ugh i am sore

Never mow lawns, hoe veggie garden, prune trees, cut & split 3 trees for firewood.........

ALL ON THE SAME DAY!!!!! :yikes:

Never count Robert Downey Jr. down or out.

Never stay up drinking wine til 2 am and expect to be chipper for an 8 am meeting

NEVER have a bad day! You can allow yourself a few bad hours......but if you let it turn into a complete bad DAY.....shame on you!

NEVER jump off a house using a sheet as a cape/parachute!! (yep....experience)

NEVER worry. Worry has never cured a thing!

Never answer the question, "Do these pants make my ass look big?"

Feign an epileptic seizure if you must, anything to change the subject...immediately.

Don't comment on the pants, comment on the colour. Distraction is good.

Never frown. Even during a few bad hours. Makes people wonder how you can be so happy all the time. (I like making people think, it's funny to see the pain lines form on their forehead). See my quote for three other things to never do.

NEVER be intentionally mean! I am sure all you ass wipes reading this will agree! JUSSSSST KIDDDING!!!!! Made ya smile though.....Didn't it?! :)

never take sides when your siblings are fighting. :p

Never hammer over your head, especially when you're tired.

Never juggle chainsaws.

never eat too much rum raisin ice cream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never tell me I can't do something

Never try to ride a barely broken stud horse around a mare in season when your saddle is older than you are.....leather is delicate after 30 years of sweat and rough riding. BUT if you do insist on riding the stud bitless in a 30 year old saddle....


NEVER FORGET YOUR RIDING CROP!



Kyttn

Seems to me there are a few ladies around here who never ride without their riding crop... :D

Never leave a sandwich unattended in the same room as a black lab puppy!

Never give daughters your charge card at the mall and say "buy what you need for school".

(Thank goodness they have both graduated!!)

Never, ever try to jump my bones! :spank:

Never trust the person who caused the accident to call you back later. :spank:

Lil, Tess, for starters........but I'm sure I'm leaving a few out.

Never leave home without it.

Never let them see you sweat (unless you're at the gym)

I still stand by the assertion that one should never eat yellow snow, but also:

never lie on your back and play 'superman' with any baby who's been fed within the last 3 days

never 'save' a chipolata sausage on your Christmas dinner plate if you're sitting next to FussyPucker

never underestimate fury of a woman scorned.

Never scratch insdie your nose if you have superglue on your finger.

And never ask me how I came to learn that.

Never take a sleeping pill & a strong laxative in the same night. - Dave Barry

NEVER have a bad day! You can have a few bad hours...but dont let it turn into an entire bad day!

Never expect life to get any easier

NEVER use the toilet without making sure there's toilet paper.

Never throw a wet mortar ( firework ) into the paper trash. Never know when someone might decide to burn it and fire dries even Dr. Pepper......... ehehehehehe
Lord Snow babe, I'm glad your dad took that as well as he did.


BTW For fun I do suggest a mortar and a soda can.... Ask Lord Snow for detailed instructions.



and finally,never doubt the revenge capabilities of a pine cone strapped between two rockets
boy, that fucker barrel-rolled and came back on the guys lighting the fuses!

Kyttn (pyro and co conspirator)

That ^ reminds me, when lighting firecrackers with a cigarette, never get confused as to which one you should throw after lighting.

No need to ask how I know this...

:rofl:


Never dry shave your private parts because you're camping and desperate. :yikes:

I'm wincing just reading it!

Never make absolute statements.

Absolutely not! :D

Never shut the garage door while the car is still under it.

never ignore a problem tooth

QFT

(yep....experience here too)

never stick your finger in an alligator's ass.

or a tiger's ass.

or an elephant's ass (for obvious reasons)