masturbation
 

lets see how many different phrases for "masturbating" we can think of.

1. flicking the bean

slapping the salami
Pulling the ol' pud
visiting mrs palmer
the one handed handshake

bashing the bishop

Scratching the itch.
Petting the one-eyed cobra.

Bopping the Baloney

Stroking the Kitty

Raising the Flag

Doin' Some Butter Churning

Milking the bull.

jerkin' the gherkin

Playing pocket pool :D

I like "Flinging my weasel". I was at the coining of this phrase and it was freaking hilarious. Well hilarious to someone playing Dungeons and Dragons at least.

spanking the bishop

for the ladies:

petting the kitty

Rubbin' the nubbin'

Rowing the boat

Polishing the pearl
Spanking the monkey
Squeezing the bean
Rubbing the rose
Pressing the panties (one of MY favorites :p )


Chocking the chicken
Flogging the dog
Emptying the ashes
Beating the meat
Polishing the wood
Jerking the joint
..and Jacking off! :D

holding the sausage hostage
slap boxing the one eyed champ
milking the anaconda
petting the goat

The five knuckle shuffle
Feeding the chooks

Shaking hands with the wife's best friend.

Having a date with Rosie Palms & the Blister sisters.

jerkin the gherkin

Polishing the pony
Taking Mister Ed out and putting him thru his paces

Masturbation
 

...making love to the one you love best

rubbin' one out

Scraping your weasel
Buttering Frank
Cuddlin' the purple helmet

for girls:

Defrosting the freezer
Dipping for ice cream
Auditioning the finger puppets

Waxin' the Dolphin
Caressin' the carrot

for blokes:

shaking hands with the one eyed milkman...

punching the clown
riging up the block and tackle

gals:
hideing the bone
feeding the clam

doing the two fingered ballet

friggin' it!

guys...dropped the kids off at Tish U, flushed the pipes, strung some pearls, shot some tadpoles, gave miss palm a lesson in woodworking, jettisoned some cargo, siphoned the tank, greased the pole, cooked up a batch o’ manchowder, milked the trouser goat, pricked some fingers, wrassled the cock-o-dile.

girls....flicked the clit bic, pet miss kitty.......watered the bush, capsized the little man in the boat…uh…….occupied the oval orifice, fulfilled her duty, performed a cavity search, plunged the drain…uhh…danced the hippy shake……widened the tunnel……went digging for clams…uh………huh. i got nothin', guess i'm done. it’s harder to come up with girl ones.

nice

fucking mother thumb and her four daughters

Hmm that might explain why John Cena is so good at the 5 knuckle shuffle, as it is one of his wrestling moves......Also explains why his biceps and forearms are so damn big!!!!

Fuckin' Rosie palm & her 5digit sisters"

"Stretchin' the elephant's trunk"

Pulling yer plonka

"going solo"

Surprised no noe has said...Choking the Chicken