What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard said?
 

I was at my Dad's 60th when my grandfather said to an old friend of the family...

..."wow, you've gotten fatter since I last saw you"

How do you come back from that?

His comment!!

"...I'm old, I can get away with saying things like that"

The woman went home crying.

Awwwww! *hugs the woman* LOL!

As to what I've heard.....

How long can this list be? Do I have to mention names or nicks? JK about that one!

One thing that comes to mind (and this is not the capper of them all....mind you)....is when I got in an accident and I actually said to a kind hearted passerby at his offer to help....."Could you please help me push my truck out of this ditch"? To which he replied........."Honey! That's the least of your problems......*points a finger under my truck*.....Your driveshaft is on the ground and the frame is bent and your spare tire is rolling down the street"!

Talk about shock and stupidity!

In some countries it is ok to call a person "fat" Like a nick name..won't try it in Canada or the US tho...

In some organizations it's protocol too SQ! Like the mafia....and "Fat Tony"! LOL!

*runs away before the tomatoes can fly*

when i first started workin at jc pennys the old woman in the department over asked me if i was
"pregnant or just plain fat"
thank god i was pregnant but she didnt know that when she asked!!!!! when jeeping and i were in the shoppete a few weeks back a friend that haddnt seen us in a while asked him "he man they got u on the fat boy program yet" talk about rude! hes not gained but a few pounds either lol

~nikki~

" Putting a Super Walmart here won't cause any neighborhood, traffic, or environmental problems.":rolleyes:

the dumbest thing i have said was while i was having sex i called out someone elses name #-o

the stupidest thing I have ever heard:

"He didn't pay child support for the 3 children he had before I got pregnant, but I thought he would with the 3 he had with me" DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"What does THIS button.............."!! :)

Following along the lines of Jenna's statement...." I love my children. I am gonna get off drugs and get my baby back(#5)." to which the judge asked, " can you tell us the location of your 4th child then?", " I don't know" she replied.

Said to me about a year ago, before my weight "adjustment"

"How come a chick with such a great ass has such little tits?"

I almost bit him. (I was in a position to cause GREAT damage and pain, i.e. my mouth was full)

Wanda

I can't help but think......... you SHOULD have!! Cheeky sod! :)

DM

"I do!!!!!"

By a TV comentator of a snooker match "For those of you viewing in black and white, it's the one behind the blue."

Sign on a poultry store window....

" CHICKEN FINGERS $6.99"

person sitting next to me in the car ....

"WTF..CHICKENS DON'T HAVE FINGERS"

Wow. That's unreal.


On a lighter note, I had a customer last night tell me the '9' key on his phone didn't work and he wondered if I could help him.

Let's see, that would have been when I was working with a wildlife educational program. We had a booth at a public fair or some such, and in the booth we had several previously-injured, but unreleasable, birds of prey on display.

One of the patrons at the fair walked up to the booth, stared very intently at the screech owl. Then she turned to us and asked "Does that owl have, like, *feathers*?"

I had to run behind the scenes to avoid laughing in her face.

You have fallen on the ice.. and in obvious pain.....you can't move, much less get up from the ice cold ground.


"Are you hurt?" "What happened?" "Do you need help?"

Duh!!!

" Honey I'll pull it out, no way you can get pregnant!"

Were you told this by someone...and is there something I need to know about you? :p

A battered woman saying, "But I love him...."

After a few pints - " I'm ok to drive" pleased to say he had his keys taken from him.

No Osuche Hon, this little gem came from friends years back when I was in high school. Some of the guys believed in the Delta system of birth control. Ya know Delta always pulls out on time. When I heard that line I always thought, Yeah right.

a friend of mine once said in dead earnest in the heat of a South Carolina summer..."gezzz it's too hot to drink beer" she has never lived that comment down.

Heared on a cruseliner by a friend of mine
" So what time is the captins midnight cocktail party"

"How do I get to yahoo?"

-My Mom

"Most girls can tell he size a guy's penis, but genrally they are wrong"

-Me

"It's OK, Cunning Linguist, I am sure you will find a nice job and have a wonderful girl who loves you in every way and is wild in the sack."

-Everybody

1. You'd be awfully cute if you'd lose some weight.

2. You've got a great personality..........for a fat girl.

3. You're so cute when you're mad.













GGGGgggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

"Hi Steph.:D I'm glad to meet you".:)





... and I said it.:(

"Hi PF. Nice to meet you, too."


Regrets, I've had a few.

A High school friend asked me once "Why do you girls need toilet paper?" I was speechless ....

This is also the same guy that another friend and I convinced that the brass balls saloon was like hooters .... except w/all the waiters' balls hanging out of their pants and painted brass colored.

Not sure if this is dumb or someone just who isn't smart:

Okay, I work for Kroger and when you call my store you get an automated answering thing, where they give you choices, ya know push 1 for deli, 2 for floral..so on and so forth till it says push 0 for customer service (Which is where I work) and I had somone call me the other day and when I picked up asked me if this was the pharmacy! The PHARMACY!!! Do these people not understand the way it works!? I don't get it!

A long time ago I also had somone ask me if I could transfer them to splashtown (water amusment park type place for those who don't know, which is also located across town from the store i was currently at the time)

Oh oh and my friend she got a prank call one time where some guy was saying he was wearing her underwear and she asked him if her husband liked the way he looked in them, lol he then proceeded to hang up on my friend :D

Ok, I think I'm done now :p

A friend of mine recently told me she heard this from a classmate. I asked her if she replied, "Yeah, and you would be cute if you lost some asshole?"

She hand't, but she said she'd keep that in mind.

Here's a moldy oldie........

"You're drunk.....again???"

To which you can reply.......

"Yeah...I'm drunk again! So what! You're ugly.......and I'll be sober in the morning"!!!!!!!

Ok here is my pet peeve from when I was in college.

During a particularly bad date, one girl said to me that she knows I would make a great husband and father becuase as an engineer I will make a lot of money.

I replied "You'd make a great mother with the great set of tits you have."

Two years later my ex-fiancee's friend/lesbian lover makes a similar comment.

Oh then there is the time I worked with a girl at McDonald's who said she would only date guys with a six pack. I said I would only date girls with a C cup or bigger.

And one more stupid comment:

"Well I don't think women should be drafted. I mean who will take care of all the babies if women all went to go fight a war"

-A feminist in college who demanded equal rights, but still saw nothing wrong with selective service.