THings you wish you could say at work:
 

Got this in a e-mail, Thought you all might enjoy:)


Things You Wish You Could Say At Work


1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a fuck.

3. How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?

4. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

5. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

6. Ahhh, I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again.

7. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

8. I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.

9. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

10. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

11. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

12. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

13. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

14. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

15. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

16. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

17. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

18. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

19. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

20. No, my powers can only be used for good.

21. I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.

22. You sound reasonable......time to up my medication.

23. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

24. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

25. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

26. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

27. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

:D

A colleague of my Dad's once said to a superior: "I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I think you're full of shit".

"Shut up, you faux-German Nazi sympathizer"



Oh, is that just my crazy co-worker? I digress.

Akasha,

Who'da thunk it! You work at my office!

I'm gonna use #'s 1, 3, 6, & 8....OFTEN!

LOL Akasha! TY!

God I needed to see this today....

Can I humbly add to the list: "Surprisingly, your talent for whining and complaining in no way makes up for your complete idiocy and lack of ability."

i really really needed to read this as well. actually maybe i didn't... cuz i may actually say some of it to customers!

My line of work.. people are always calling me asking "When am I gonna get my child support"....... I always have to bite my tongue to stop myself from telling them that my crystal ball has been stolen.

THOSE WERE GREAT! Thanks soo much for sharing!

One of my favs is when I get a lot of questions thrown at me I'll say " You writing a book or taking a survey?" OR I'll look at them surprised and say"Didn't I tell You?" and they'll say Noooooo and I'll turn to walk off and snap "that's cuz it ain't Ya damn business!"

Where were these when I was still working? LMAO. :D :D

I pretty much say whatever the fuck i want to at work

"Yes, sir. Sarcasm is but one of the many services we offer here."

The one line I would LOVE to say, just once...

"You're so fucking stupid...just get the fuck out of my sight you stupid shit."

Ahhh....I feel better already... :)

:p


rabbit

One of my favs:

If I wanted any lip from you I'd pull your panties down!

"Failure to plan on your part does NOT constitute an emergency on mine." I've got this one tacked on the wall in my office. LOL

We have this poster in the back room where I work... and its a scene from "Sixth Sense" ... with the kid looking like he's talkin to Bruce Willis. and from his mouth the little bubble says "I see stupid people, they're everywhere... and they dont even know they're stupid!"

LMAO

The one I wish I could use

SCREW YOU ALL!!! I WON THE LOTTERY!!!!!

As long as you don't insult the customer,if you are valueable(make
money for)enough to your company,you can say just about anything,that you want.I was foreman & head mechanic for two
different boat manufacturers.In one,I dealt with,determining with
the owner,what options,he wanted.Also,in both,I made sure that
all mechanical equipment worked right.Bikers & fishermen,have alot in common.I had a, very, good rapor with the boat owners &
crew.I therefore could say just about anything at work.This was
approx 20yrs ago & the basic boat(before options)was $20,000!
Irish

*snickers* fuckup-fairy i SOOOOOOOOOOO luv that one soooooo
i see i have a new word ! BEWARE WORLD I HAVE A NEW FAV WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hehehehhee
~nikki~

I wish I could use - "just FUCK RIGHT OFF! Don't you know anything you fucking idiot?"

"Close that door and bend over that desk....Now!!"

yep, needed to say that a few times.

I Wish my boss would say that to me Skip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No guts no glory!!! Next time - Just do it!

If I wanted any shit from you...I'd cut your skull open and scoop it out!



*Oh to say that...just once!*

I quit would definitely be a great sentence to utter, especially after a long, understaffed night like tonight.

Thumbs up for SCREW THE JOB.....I just won the Lottery!

Now all I need to do is buy a Lottery ticket! *lol*

I'm not your mother I'm a mother fucker get that straight your mother dosn't fuckin work here

oh yes I have said it before

Actions speak louder than words...LMAO

-giggles- I think hubby's gonna hafta post this in his office. ;)