I was trying to get my VERY straight-laced almost Amish parents to go on a "date night" and my dad said that he was tired and didn't want to go. I said that they should take Mom's car because it has the bigger back seat.

My mom chimes in with "yeah, there are 2 blankets back there"

I said to my dad, "well there ya go!"

But then my mom said that my daughter had left some of her toys in the backseat, "toys and toys and toys"

Dad then says, "OOOoo toys!" and smiles.

OMG! I died, i fell to my knees and then on the floor laughing and totally died laughing! a true case of ROFL!!!

That's ^^^^^^ funny!!!

^^^ That's cute









... but those lame ass smilies suck snail shit!

my brother

What made my dog laugh today, you ask?
 

I took my dog out at the normal time this morning. Everything seemed normal but when we got downstairs, he let out a tiny button of poop in the porch. He's never done that before!

Then, the bag I used to pick up it & the rest split & spilled poop over the sidewalk in front of my building. *

We were walking for about 20 minutes & were crossing a street when he decides he wants to poop in the middle of the street & I'm out of bags.

I had to buy hair stuff anyway so I left him tied up near his poop and went to get shampoo & a bag to poop & scoop the remaining er, poop.

I come out of the store and take stuff out of the bag to scoop & bam! The shampoo fell out & yes, landed right in the middle of the poop. I delicately carried it home & threw it in the tub & washed it & got ready to go for work.

I know that freaking dog was laughing at me when I left! I know eeeet!

what a load of shit! LMAO!!!

LOL He's full of it.

He also HOWLED when I went into a store to get juice! Just juice! He's just being a needy pain in the ass. Whenever anyone pets him, he has to let them know he's been abandoned. Ya know, in case they need to FEED his starving carcass.

Steph's dog!

the tiny tyrant sticking a french fry up his nose.

I'm still laughing at the throw rug. ha ha

A girlfriend calling just now after she heard the news that I walked out of my job and quit.... :)

I'm laughing at Steph's dog....late I know but I've been busy.

I was telling a BBW friend about the bra size thread & she said, "Oh! Mine are bigger than all of them. Wait. It's not a competition, is it?" :D

Sitting at the car wash with my son and watching the lady next to us trying to get her brand new "Z Car" into reverse. I am not one to stereotype anyone - but she did make the saying about a certain hair color come true

^^haha

Picturing alspals talking to his daughter about condoms. Yikes.

ha ha... she knew what they were without any help from me... also knew what antidisestablishmentarianism means too.

smart like you!

Last night, at some friends house, Mr. IWM asks a three year old boy if he knew what a wet willy was....me looking at him like "oh lord, whats he doing now" Then the little boy goes and pokes Mr. IWM in the crotch saying "wet willy!!!' and goes to every man in the house doing the same....... then Mr. IWM being totally embarrassed shows him to lick his finger and stick it in someones ear that THAT is a wet willy. The boys parents then tell us a willy is a WILLY to the little boy. YIKES.

^^^^ that did, lol

Steph thinking I said my baby looks like a slug

The thought of all them pretty bras just waiting for me to buy em :D

I ALMOST put this in the "What's the worst thing a guy has ever said to you thread?"


Sooooooooo, after 30 minutes or so of torrid lovemaking this evening, my sweetie and I are basking in the afterglow, being all lovey-dovey 'cause it's Valentine's Day and all...when all of a sudden he says, "You know, I'm really kind of sorry that didn't last longer. But you see, when I came in I saw my Valentine's and birthday presents over there on the table, and I wanted to hurry up and get to the good stuff."



Yes, he's still alive. For now. ROFLMAOBBQ. :D

jbh3's avatar


SPAMSPAMSPAMSPAM........

I agree with Imaginewithme. PF's is good too. Funny I don't remember seeing PF the times I went to Mt Rushmore.

My mom telling me she bumped her head on the refrigerator, of course I had to ask how..... while bent over looking in it, telling my dad she'd cook something.....said she looked down and all of a sudden there my dad was out of nowhere peeking up her nightgown........so she jumped and bumped her head.

Kinda grossed me out, but was sooooo funny.

ROFLMAO :D

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

SCARRING! :D

Thinking about the time I scared Coaster by making him think someone was in his house :)

Rockintime saying a word he vowed to never say in chat.

Mr. IWM putting baby in the back pack snugli thing and walking the treadmil, coming in the house afterwards (its in our garage) and baby is passed out asleep......haleluja he's walking her every night as far as I'm concerned!!!!

Visions of WildIrish sitting in the plastic kid seat of a shopping cart being pushed by his child.... only somehow i was picturing it being one of those little nascar shaped carts at Home Depot :D

I don't fit. :(

The steering wheel squashes my pecker. :p

It wasn't funny at the time, but explaining to Mr. IWM that our daughter turned into the tazmanian devil today for about 5 second.

my daughter calling the grossest, messiest poopiest diaper i've seen in a while "explosivo"

The cashier looking at the food we bought & saying to Dan, "I hope you're cooking that for her."

Ahahaha, I haven't cooked in almost as long as PF!

Your not that old Steph.

Abner intently sniffing the computer cord and then trying to squeez himself in front of the laptop so he can lay on the desk.

LOL Let's face it, who is?


I also had a laugh at my friend Charles planning a "girls night out" with me. He's too cute!

hearing about someones "innie" ;)

Having to tell my friend Linda, the paralegal I work with, that she had a big, white fuzz ball on her ass--and then watching her try to find it to take it off. :D

For some reason,as I was reading USA today headlines and saw a pic of Bush,I couldn't get John Stewarts insane impersonation of him out of my head!!