For now, but if you had ignored the presence of the disease...

glad you didn't.

wyndhy.......do you need to hide the pills in apple sauce to take them :D?

Sounds like you have a handle on this.......big hugs to ya.

apple sauce!? *gag* no way i could keep that shit down.:p:D

fucking snafu! my ekg showed a prior heart attack with poor r-wave progression. total bullshit. the effin tech didn't place the leads in the proper place. dumb asshole. this meant that my oncologist needed to talk directly to the dr. interpreting the test (who obviously just let the machine give him the results without looking closer). the dr. interpreting the results then looked at my other heart tests, and said (surprise!) there was no reason not to proceed with chemo. this delay, as well as a fun game of phone tag, kept my oncologist from enrolling me in the trial on time (if i had actually had a prior heart attack, the study would have to reject me based on the damage the drugs can do to my heart) so now it's entirely possible that the study drug from the trial will not arrive in time for my treatment on friday morning. after talking to my oncologist on the phone, i told her to call me on thursday if the drug came in, otherwise call me on friday when it gets there. it may only push back my treatment for a few hours, or i may get to go as scheduled, but still. grrr and double grrr. clusterfuckingfuck. i swear, just give me an iv stand and a damn stethoscope and i'll do the shit myself.

on a lighter note:p:D- i get to give myself a shot of white-blood cell boosting wonderdrugs the day after my first four rounds. my doc thinks i'm nuts but i told her there was no way i was going to find a sitter for the kids just so i could drive all the way back to the hospital for a shot in my leg that would take all of three seconds. if i can't do it, i know hubby can, and if that doesn't work, my insurance does cover home care if i need it. i say it's just good practice for when i become a junkie:p my insurance is actually mailing the shit to my house. if i'm not here to sign for it, my insurance co absolves itself of all responsibility and i must pay for replacement drugs if needed ... at a cost of 12,900$ (that's 3,225$ a shot people!) guess where i'll be on thursday?:D

uhm...please excuse my potty mouth.:o

oh fuck it. i can curse if'n i wanna. fuckity fuck fuck fuck.:p:D

Um. Everyone in the owrld is a dumb ass at one point or another. I'm sorry you had to deal with so many peeps having their dumbassedness day concurrently.

And fuck, fuck, fuck from me too. Remind me to teach you the fuck song :D

The late great Warren Zevon had the perfect words to sum up a day like yours ;)

My Shit’s Fucked Up

Well, I went to the doctor, I said, "I'm feeling kind of rough"
"Let me break it to you son, Your shit's fucked up."
I said, "my shit's fucked up? I don't see how"
He said, "The shit that used to work, won't work now."

I had a dream, Ah, shucks, oh, well
Now it's all fucked up It's shot to hell

Yeah, yeah, my shit's fucked up It has to happen to the best of us
The rich folks suffer like the rest of us It'll happen to you

That amazing grace Sort of passed you by
You wake up every day, hang your head and cry

Yeah, you want to die But you just can't quit
Let me break it on down, That's some fucked up shit

Yeah, My Shit’s Fucked Up
Fucked Up

awsome^^

I think Scotzoid has it just about right.

:wave:
just checking in. the stuff they gave me to help curb the nausea works great. mildly queasy, tiny constant headache, food tastes weird and i'm pretty tired all the time but mostly good. all things considered, i feel very lucky to have escaped with only a few minor complaints.

And wouldn't it be great if they could just give you the medical WackyWeed for all that. You'd still have all the complaints, but you just wouldn't care.

*toke toke* Du~u~u~u~de! (cough, hack) ~*~giggles~*~ That's some goooood medical! (cough) Anyone for some brownies?! ~*~giggles~*~





duuuude.

MMMM brownies!! ::giggle::

hit hit pass.
i've killed motherfuckers for less. :p

fyi, if you care...

my next treatment is friday. and godDAMN these two weeks went by way too fast. i had a chemo-hangover for about 5 days, mostly from the "pre-meds" and the mild queasiness went away about then, too. still dealing with headaches and heartburn. totally tolerable though. and i actually have something to report that relates to this site! my sex drive is fffffffft. it's not a chore, by any means, but i just ain't feelin frisky. and when i do get to orgasm, it's lame. lacking somehow. not sure if that's a state of mind thing or side effect or a bit of both. sucks though. food tastes a little better, but still not quite right. i switched to baking soda mouthwash, instead of salt, to help with the little mouth sores i get and that seems to have helped some. and i still have my hair! but i suspect it will be gone in about a week. which, i admit, i don't know how i'll feel about. i handled being suddenly boobless pretty well already so i figure the hair should be easy. then again it's so ... right there.

i am going to ask my doc to fiddle with the pre-med dosages, see if i can't get that druggy feeling to go away a wee bit earlier. you see, it's not a good druggy - like a la-la i am happy to be on drugs druggy - more like a fuzzy, can't focus, short tempered, bad trip, jane stop this crazy thing druggy. drugs, drugs everywhere, and not a drop to cheer. :D

Oh, ug. So much a major bitch. Still, it's better than the cancer.

Major illnesses are a bitch, and there's just no way around it.

Still, you do seem to be dealing, so that's good.