Finally a joke that explains what it's like to be Canadian...





Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."


Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place of great balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."


The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large landmass in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them."



Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed; "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!" God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them...."

No offence to my Southern Neighbours eh!

OMG......spankings all around for you!!!! ;)

mmmm..........and what is the balancing force for the province of Quebec?

all the english people living in it
lol
im sorry that was mean... i came from the english region, and the are like linguistically-segregated

lol......boy are they ever!

My french is non existant unless you count a few swear words. I remember trying to order a large double double coffee at Horton's in Laval......HA!!!! What a joke that was! :)

The funniest though was at a diner.......the french can't say hot dogs.....they say hod dogs and lo and behold on the menu was "hod dog" lmao at that one!

Damn, had to comment, both the bands I have been listening to lately are canadian...quite by accident I assure you, if I only would have known.

If only........

I'm dying to know what bands you're listening to!

As far as when Canada gained it's independance from the UK, it was July 1, 1867 (and it was done with out a war).

Oh, and to all the Candians toasting with a Coors Light,, please remeber that is an American beer.

Most Canucks I know toast with Canadian beer - Molson, Labatt . . . going back to an earlier post here, most Americans get shit canned drinking our beer :)

Why is it Canadian beer has a stronger alcoholic content than our southern neighbours?

I have to think about that one:confused: …… Pass me another Moosehead!:D

..... our antifreeze level doesn’t have to be as low maybe?:rolleyes:

A few more things I've remembered:

The 401 highway running from Windsor to I'm not sure how far it goes...is one wicked highway!! Gotta be careful on that one...so many accidents and multi-vehicle ones at that!
And PLEASE the speed limit is in kilometers per hour NOT miles!!!
Don't try to drive at 100 mph!! It's 100 KPH roughly somewhere between 60-70 mph.

Two excellent comedy Television shows....Royal Canadian Air Farce and This Hour has 22 minutes!! Excellent shows...and gives us Yanks a peek into how we're perceived by our neighbors to the North. I know there must be more, but those are two that I'm most familiar with.

I love Red Rose brand tea and I can't find it here in Missouri!! Wahhhhh!!!!

Curling clubs are as common in the parts of Ontario that I've been in as bowling alleys are here in the States.

You don't wipe your mouth with a napkin, you use a serviette (sp?).

And I love the LaBatts commercials!! Especially the Bear.....

Oh boy, that figures!
 

Is you cash-conversation any better, so you can calculate your bail?:eek:

Try 62.1371 Miles/hour,….. or ABOUT 5/8,….. or ROUGHLY ½ plus another 10%.
70 Miles/hour would be 112.654 Kilometers/hour and over the 10% leeway that even Sharni’s sweetest Mounty would allow.:rolleyes:


















LMFAO- soory SS,;) just couldn’t resist.:D

PICKY PICKY PICKY!!!!!!

Geezzz! Some people are so mathmatically anal-rententive!!! ROFLMFAO!!!!

Well I do declare SS......we use "cloth" napkins when we are out dining and having company and paper serviettes for any other old time.......don't tell a soul but paper towels worked well with my kids! :)

AND Red Rose Tea is the best and "sold only in Canada?" Pity!!! :)

I would be more than happy to send you off a box if you so desire SS.....