here are a few...

"Beggers cant be choosers"

"Thats a brown bagger." - for an ugly person...the only way you would have sex with them if they had a brown bag over their head

"Is the pope Catholic?" - one of two sarcastic replys

"and I'm the queen of england." - my second sarcastic saying.

"slower than a slug in peanut butter" - going very very slowly

"broke as a joke" - is very broke

happy as a bastard on father's day - extremely unhappy

Glyndwr---I have heard people awnser;when"Does a bear;shit in
the woods?";is said to them;NO;not if he lives in a zoo! Irish

I forgot one :(....

"And people in hell want ice water!" - what you requested is not going to happen.

"Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs" well, wouldn't you be too?

When I'm having an out-of-control day at work, and one more moron asked me to do something, I say to them, "do you want fries with that?"

And my ultimate favorite now is from Pantyfanatic - "If God didn't want you to play with it he would have put it between your shoulderblades." I get a lot of mileage out of that one! Thanks!

Taking wisdom from PF, oh no what is the world coming too.

Thank you Reesa-
 

Glad you like it:). Makes sense to me. (DANGER SIGN):confused :) LOL
In one of my few lucid moments:rolleyes:, I coined that myself. That’s the only reason I don’t change it.




Skipthisone- puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu:p (raspberries) lol
Even a blind pig finds an occasional acorn. ;)

P.F.---Pity them not;for they no not from wence(sp?);they speak!
(Biblical saying;just made up; by Irish) Irish

I found this one on a website, a list of sayings for women on high stress days

"Having a hard-on does not qualify as personal growth"

and my favorite, "How do you set a laser printer to stun?"

Here's afew murphisms for y'all:

"And now for something completely different" Sarcastic way of telling someone they're being repetitive.

"Beating a dead horse" belaboring a point beyond reason

"he went end over appetitie" from my Great-grandfather, falling head over heels, literally, like down the stairs or the side of a mountain.

"Faster 'n grease thru a funnel" REALLY fast

"Slower 'n Molasses" REALLY slow

"Neater 'n a pin" dressed up, or really cute

"Smilin like a possum eatin shit" describing an untrustworthty person.

"Cant squeese blood from a stone" means I aint got no money

"He'd bitch if he got hung with a new rope" someone who always complains.

"Stubborn as a Missouri Mule" EXTREMELY stubborn.

"Dumber than a box of rocks" Really Dumb

"Deaf as a doorpost" can't hear or won't listen

"Shot out of there like a bolt of lightning" ran away scared

"Strutting like a thanksgiving turkey" overdressed

A good friend of mine once confused this with the bear one:

'Does the Pope shit in the woods?' - well i know it's irreverant, but it's still my favourite expression!

'Well, bugger me backwards with a fish fork' - expressing surprise.

'If i laughed once i laughed twice' - bitchy comment when someone makes an unfunny joke.

'I've got nipples like Chapel Hat-pegs' - strike me it's chilly in here today.

I've recently got back in touch with an ex whose whole vocabulary is made up of peculiar sayings so that when we speak no-one else knows what the fuck we're talking about. The sayings wouldn't mean anything to anyone else, but i nearly pee myself everytime he reminds me of one that i'd forgotten!

A.K.'s Sex-Pot---You think that's irreverent?You should see my;
super religous,Catholic mother;when I ask her:If the Pope is so
anxious;to meet God;why does he ride in a bullet-proof car?(Pope-mobile)She gets all flustered! Irish

.....As funny as a Fart in an elevator..........Not impressed

.....Laughing like a tin of worms coming home from fishing.. very happy

....Corners like a Cat on carpet......(pertaining to vehicles traction)

....Not this little black duck.....Not Bloody likely!

...Up shit creek in a barb wire canoe...in a lot of trouble

....What are you going to do when the monkey wants it's arse back...said to an unattractive person

....That's a club lock situation....someone need an up slap to the head

..dry as a dead dingo's donger....very thirsty

Walkin' with a weasel ... Finding out a "friend" really wasn't.

Smooth as an Illinois road ... Pretty rough.

Floats like a rock ... Didn't work.