Kids go in cycles.
0-2: Dependant. very little free will. Cute, and absoultly unaware.
2-3: They now know that they are a seperate creature, and combined with the weapon of speech, will resist you until truly scared.
4-6: This is when morals actualy come in. They keep on doing stupid stuff, but they'll learn common sense with some work.
7-10: Golden age. They love you, your all powerful. With continued effort you've reached a stable age.
11-13[12 for some]: They want more responsibility. They move more with their freinds. All your hard work is starting to come down as the grow. They'll start to resist the "unfair", so less nessary rules will be battled upon and generally removed.
14[13 for some]-17: They want to run their lives as much as possible, and want to love you, but they also want do do their own thing as much as possible. They might seem like they hate you, but they just dont want be unprepared to be themselves.
18-21: Will try to avoid contact at all costs.
22-on: Wish they spent more time with you, blah, blah, blah.

When your kids are acting terrible you think your the only one in the world with such horrible children and you wonder where did you go wrong......
But then a thread like this lets you know your not alone and everythings gonna work out in the end.

Thanks guys!!!

My daughters are basically wonderful, terrific, super, great people. But just had a go round with the 16 yr old this afternoon. grrrrrrrrrrrrr kids!!!!

When my 2 were young and acting up like little kids do, my then single, childless brother, watched my frustration with them and then said, "You did this on purpose?" Hah, now he's got 2 that act just like mine did. I haven't said it to him yet,,,,,, waiting for the right moment.

Teddy ;) :) :D

I am remarried and now I'm reliving my first incarnation, god help me. May I find the strength!

OK Guys...I myself am going through all of the above. My 8 yr old daughter and I are already fighting about everything...and my 5 yr old son is just a loveable little lier. Now I read that it is only going to get worse. Oh dear lord...please help me.

Seems like I can give advise with the best of them but I can not communicate with my children...We talk all the time but I dont beleive I ever get through until I spank them or send them to there rooms so I can "calm down"...so how can it get worse....?

I know there is a light at the end of the tunnell but I want to know just how long this tunnel is?

Lets see, Tex. 18 minus 5 equals 13 long years. I have one with a tendency to lie. Very competitive you know. Don't let it pass, ever!
Best of luck.

I don't have children Blue.........and yet I can see the forrest better at times than my sister's can (they can't see the forrest for the trees) ........so they often come to me for tidbits of advice.

It's so hard to watch them at times like you describe. They think it's "all their fault" that the kids are acting like shit heads! In all actuality........it happens to each and every one of us as we are growing up. Some in worse ways than others......but rebellion is the worst part of raising a child. Kids think they know EVERYTHING....and adults are just nuisances put here to drive them crazy. It doesn't matter how angelic they were when they were younger......and you thought they could never be like so-and-so's daughter/son.........because sooner or later (approx. around the age of 13, give or take a few) they become aware of the insider fact that they are all knowing. They don't need adult supervision or advice or our wisdom of "when I was your age" (you've seen the eyes roll on that one)....because they are NOT us! We have NO IDEA how they feel and how they should handle a difficult situation, because no matter the fact that we've experienced the exact same instance..........we are too old to know how they could be feeling or how it will all work out if they followed our advice instead of making similar mistakes that we have already learned from. It's their mistakes and by all that they stand for, they are gonna make um if they want to!

DUH!!!!!! But no matter how you try......seems the harder you try.....the more resistance you are going to get. Best way I've seen to handle this fact.......reverse psycology. It's hardest on the parent........but it sometimes brings about a faster, more positive result than banging heads and demanding your way be best. Let them make the mistakes you know won't permenantly harm them! As a matter of fact......make them make the mistakes that will cause very little trouble for you! Give them your blessing to spend their last dollar on what seems to be the junkiest "have to have" object you've ever seen. Tell them you'd never buy it but then that's just you and that they might know better in this instance.......then sit back and watch as it all becomes clear that they've made a major mistake (in their eyes). ! If they don't have a job and no money.....flaunt yours! Show them things your saving to buy......things you know they'd like but could never afford.......and go buy something you know they'd die to have themselves. Never let them use it but let them see it often! Make sure they know how hard you worked for the item.....but that the work was part of the reward of being able to afford such a luxury.

Harmful things are a different story and you'll still have to bang heads on them.........but for the things that aren't a danger........try and let go and let them make the mistakes you know will surely follow. Believe it or not.....they do grow out of it eventually.........and some even come to their parents later in years and say how wonderful the parent was and how stupid they had been not to listen in the first place.

My baby sister's youngest son is 13+ now and she swears he was kidnapped by aliens and replaced with this demonic kid! On the other hand......her oldest son is 22+ now and has done such a turn-around she can hardly believe he's hers and that they made it through it all! He was so bad we thought he would be in prison at this time in his life. Instead......he's actually come to her and cried and apologized for hurting her all those years. He has a son of his own now and he's scared his son might be just like he was....in time. Little does he know what he's in for!

Just know this Blue..........you are by no means alone on this subject....and it's not all your fault! In the end.....you'll look back at the suffering part and hardly believe it happened.......because in the end.......your child will be an adult.....and he'll/she'll be OK!

My thoughts and best wishes to you...that this will not go on for too much longer!

Well said Lixy.... well said. :D

Do you know about the flag story?

I stopped at my daughters today and was being told about how early her little one was up this morning and made her start her day 2 hours early. I reminded her of the four year old that I found sitting in the family room at about 04:55 one morning eating cereal out of the box and starring at the white hissing light of the TV screen like the kid in Poltergeist.

Through squinted eyes I asked “what are you doing down here?”. “I want to watch the flag story” was her reply, and while I was asking what the hell she was talking about, the local station came on and started broadcasting with the National Anthem.

Did you know that they start the day the same way they end it? I sure didn’t! I’ve watched it go off many time, but never was there for the morning start two hours later. I could only sit there with my head in my hands and think she’s seen the “flag story” before.:eek:



(true story)

What a precious memory you have PF...

I am sure that at the time it wasn't so, but to look back at it and smile now... :)

Now how I learned the above advise and these rules.
 

(This was intended to be a post to another thread relating to our opinions about our children.
http://www.pixies-place.com:81/foru...?threadid=15392)
After suffering through setting this to paper [paper = codger talk for electronic word document] I felt this enduring thread more appropriate. I will, from time to time, attempt to muster the strength to relate the two additional migration of son and the one, but GRAND, exodus of the daughter.)

Parents should NOT convert their kids rooms. Parents should get the house keys when they leave. Parents should not visit uninvited for at least 3 months. College tuition should only be paid from place of residence.

About six months after my son, daughter and I were living together alone, son moves in with a buddy. He needs a few pots and pans from an “unused” gourmet kitchen. Of course a few towels, some bed linen, a chair from the family room etc.

Three weeks later his buddy moves out and his new airline stewardess girlfriend has moved in.

Four months later he moves back home after 2 other buddies take over the 1 year lease. He has his bed & dresser, some clothes in one shopping bag and a leather garter belt and $375 phone bill to Montego Bay in another one. His 3.2 GPA is now 2.1 as he forgot to go to the classes he registered for. Even without cracking a book we both got an education so maybe it was money well spent. :rolleyes:

lol.... dear god. you had me in stitched with this one. i dont have kids yet but i am praying that mine will be little angels.. yes i know YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!! i can dream can i?

anyway... i only went thru a mild rebelion and maybe mine will do the same....