I tell myself everyday that I am not dieting. This is a permanent change. This is how I have to fuel my body and need to find other things besides food to fuel my soul. I have people who love me who do that and a lot of boys depending on me to be there for them.

Okay, it's time for me to start being honest to myself - and all of you about the use of my treadmill. I just got done with a 30 minute program that consisted of varying grades of incline up to 8% and varying speads up to 3.2 mph. According to the handy display I walked 1.4 miles and burned 205 calories in the process. It kicked my ass - but somehow I'm better for it. I'm cooling down as I type this and need to follow it up with some on the floor stretches.

My eating has been in check and I feel in control of food for the most part lately. I'm officially in the Hut and it really hasn't struck me with significant carb or sugar cravings.

I've also noticed (I am obsessed with the scale) that my weight seems to be fluctuating less as of late throughout the day. Previously I could see swings of up to 5 lbs throughout the day and now it seems to be settling down to about 1 lb.

Maddy, that's a pretty stiff workout for someone just getting back into being active. Make sure you don't overdo it or get burnt out mentally--you've made such wonderful progress thus far, I'd hate to see anything detract from it.

And Lil, you're absolutely right. Every one of us in this thread is attempting a lifestyle change with the hope of benefits immediately and to come. ((Everyone))

I know IAKG... trust me I know as I'm now slumped on the couch my heartrate finally back down to resting. It was far more agressive than I planned on it being. I think tomorrow will be a more leisurely stroll through the park. Thanks for keeping me in check... I don't need to get burned out :)

I must admit the adreniline flowing felt darn good.

Good job Maddy .... glad to hear you are enjoying the treadmill so far, that's wonderful. (and that you're remembering to set goals so you can last for a long time)

I did good again yesterday ... trying to keep the middle area of my calorie range as much as possible since in the next week or two we are likely to be having a special lunch treat at work .... takeout from a new bar-b-que place in town .... since my office is just me and the boss and she isn't a very social person, we don't do such things much ... which of course makes it a ton easier for me to stick with my eating plans, but I'm looking forward to a special treat for a change-up .... also something happening the last weekend of the month is a "Clue and Fondue" night with a group of people I associate with ... there will likely be 50-80 people attending and I want to be able to go and enjoy the whole event without feeling like I'm being out of control ... so I'm shaving back on my calories here and there (still staying in my range, but aiming for the mid to lower part of the range) in order to know that it will be ok to splurge a bit.

I ate a burger and chocolate, I was in heaven but now I just feel blah! Back on track manana.

I got chocolate from well-meaning co-workers today. In my efforts to be "good," I promptly put it away to bring home to my children. They were thrilled, and I was proud of myself for that.

That being said, they were evil--EVIL, I tell 'ya. Someone had a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts by the water cooler. I had to give in around 11ish. Of course, I also promptly wrote down the five points one glazed doughnut cost me. I am telling myself it was a treat. :D

Good job IAKG with the chocolate ... glad the kids enjoyed it! Don't know how you managed to wait that long for the Krispy Kreme ... the smell would drive me crazy! :)

Lil ..Glad you enjoyed the treat, hope you feel less blah tomorrow :) ....

I made it through another day ... even managed to keep my calorie count lower then I usually do ... mentioned my reasons in my last post ... I'm really starting to notice more of the positive differences in myself etc. I'm so grateful!!! :D

1 lb lower this morning (and this is the week of the Hut!) and thus a net loss of 5 lbs.

Strenuous workouts continue -- in case anyone is interested... I average 500-600 calories a workout (20 min weights, 5 stretching, 300 sit-ups, and 30-45 min of cardio (usually elliptical or bike or stairmaster)). My body feels a little tighter, but the best thing I notice is that I wake up sore (eg arthritis) much less often.

Depression still abounds...and it's been worse this week with Mr. Osuche gone. Sat at my desk and cried this morning; I was in early and thank God no one else was around. And that damn Nilsson song I posted this weekend has been haunting me... <sigh> Only managed to eat 1500 calories all day today ~~ didn't feel like doing more.

If you think it would help, I could set my treadmill up in back of yours and chase you through the park. :D

If you think it will keep me motivated, WI, I'm all for it.

((osuche))

I gave into a craving tonight I've had for a couple of weeks now--pizza. Two slices, and DAMN, they were good. It put me over points for the day by 5 or 6, but I still have enough flex points to more than cover that. I'm trying to think of it as a "treat" instead of "falling off the wagon," and I hope I'm successful.

I feel like finding a fist-full of gerber daisies and sending them your way, osuche. They always make me smile and I wish for you a smile to help change your mood.

fzzy, you are doing great! I'm impressed with your ability to understand your body and plan for what you have coming up in the future.

Lilith, I hope you enjoyed the burger - the Whopperette commercial, which I find obnoxious, has me craving a whopper. This weekend weather permitting I will grill up my own lean burger and have it on some wheat bread as a compromise.

I just got off the treadmill a bit ago. I picked an easier program tonight, but as the twenty minutes were winding down - the Beastie Boys came up in my iPod song shuffle and my feet just took off moving. I went another ten minutes and bumped the pace up to 3.5 mph.

I was tempted with chocolates today but knew deep down that I wouldn't stop with one piece so opted not to have any at all.

Good move maddy, cause I ate them til they disappeared. :(

Today I made some bad choices but I'm trying to get back on track. I'm just so busy and have no time for food planning.

Drank scotch with a co-worker tonight...now I need to go and eat something to sober up, because I have a conference call with my MBA team in 2 hours (9 pm PST) to compare homework answers.

I realized today that I have a lot to be grateful for, Pixie friends included. So I'll try and be a bit sunnier....sorry for the gloom. It's been a tough month, and I hope oyu don't mind my venting.

But tomorrow is another day ~~ and I am inspired by *all* of your accomplishments, as well as your positiveness! ((((IAKG)))) ((((Lil)))) ((((maddy)))) ((((fzzy)))) ((((WI))))